the Asylum | Events | Sunday Show Results

Jacobs Field, Cleveland, Ohio (2nd September 2001)


Several men in smart suits surround a desk in a small office, all looking quite serious. They're all Joe's lawyers. One of them leans forward and places both hands down hard onto the desk and takes a deep breath. "Well Zoe's dead." he says bluntly. "That's not great news to say the least. Combined with the fact that several EMT's and officials were knocked out cold, and many hurt quite badly when the scaffold fell... well Joe's not going to be happy."

Another one of the lawyers leans forward. "And with the scaffold falling after the match was over, the Asylum are held legally liable. Luckily, neither Borst or Burton were hurt when the scaffold fell over the ring. But one official has been seriously hurt, and an EMT is in a coma. Joe's not going to be pleased."

The third lawyer leans foward, placing his hands down hard on the desk. "What about this whole Borst thing as well? He may well have hit the scaffold first, thus losing the match, but Joe seemed to have forgotten about the contract he and Borst signed a while back. In return for acquiring Borst's services for the next ten years, Joe said that the only way Borst could ever lose the World Championship was to lose a bout by submission. Now Joe has lost the biggest player in the game due to a retirement match, and he has also lost the real World Championship. Borst may well have breached the contract in the clause stating he's not allowed to lay a finger on Campbell, but... in terms of the actual Championship thing, he's not got a leg to stand on."

A fourth lawyer steps forward, leaning on the desk. "And the contract for the retirement match stated that under no circumstances could the loser EVER be reinstated. Joe has lost Borst forever, and he has lost the actual World Championship and all it's prestige...

"FOREVER."

Finally, the fifth lawyer leans forward, creating a circle of heads around the desk. "The only consolation for Joe is that Borst is up in court today... if he gets a lengthily sentence, he's not going to be the biggest free agent in the game. He'll be locked up. But Tyler is also up in court for murder, and he's going down. No question.

"Joe has just lost Borst for good. He's lost the title. A much loved lady in this industry was shot dead during an Asylum pay-per-view. He's facing a huge lawsuit over the problems with the scaffold and injured parties. Several fans were shot during the match, and although either Borst or Burton will take the bulk of the responsibility for that, the Asylum is going to foot a pretty big bill there too. And to top it off, Burton, who won the match, cannot be the world champion, and he's going to be locked up for most likely three years. The only thing to hope for now is that Burton gets a short sentence, and for the good of the Asylum, Borst gets a VERY long sentence, so that he can't be signed up by any rival companies, and hopefully lose all his heat."

The first lawyer steps back and sighs. "So..." he says. "Who's going to break the news to Joe?"







Give you the title? No. Give YOU a contract? Ok.




A day to reflect? There wasn’t even time. seVered had taken place, but before anyone had time to analyse the fateful goings on, a Sunday show was underway. There were more than a few questions to be answered, who was the 21wrestling “representative” and how many more chances would he give Joe Campbell, before it was too late? Why was KVC on Asylum television? And more importantly, will he be the ever again? What did Xearo L’Vagrant plan to do as the new U.K. champion… and what did NBK plan to do as the new team champions, now that they’d burnt the titles to a crisp.

But the question on everyone’s lips, what happened to Boris Borst and Inmate? Where they ok? Was one of them a new Asylum champion? Did they really fire any shots from the gun? Such was the way of the Asylum… nothing was ever a certainty, ever.

But the main question on everyone’s lips?

Would Borst, or Inmate be able to defend the Asylum championship against Kenny Rock on tonights show?

And if not… then, what?

The answer to that question, would be answered.


“Blood in my eyes” by the Dimestore Hoods played throughout the Jacobs Field, in Cleveland Ohio. The arena was absolutely packed with Asylum fans, most of which were more than likely at the seVered show the previous night, they erupted with cheers when the trademark blood red pyrotechnics exploded, to mark the start of the Sunday show, as the music continued, a slightly unexpected appearance from the Asylum president, and self proclaimed 21wrestling champion… although the latter, wasn’t something he’d really been boasting about as of late.

Joe Campbell.

He made his way down to the Asylum, 21wrestling title in a bag beside him, and something else which appeared to be adding considerable weight to the bag.

A gun perhaps? Nah… his name wasn’t Boris.

Joe made his way down to the Asylum, clambering in and commandeering a microphone as he did, he dropped the bag to the floor and took a few paces around the Asylum, waiting for the crowd to die down.

“I’ve come out here tonight… to make a few announcements, and decisions.” Joe started, he was looking rough to say the least, dark bags under his eyes, scruffy hair… and a chin full of stubble, it was pretty evident that with all of the anonymous attacks directed at him, he was having trouble sleeping.

“First of all… I’ll address this… fucking, piece of shit.” Joe said, dragging the 21wresting title out of the bag, holding it in the air… and then throwing it down on the canvas.

“I’ve decided… that seeing as this fucking twat, whoever he is… I don’t care… but since he’s made my life a living hell for the past few weeks, I think its time… I gave him a little taste of what he’s been dishing out.

See, you bastard… I know you’re watching this, I know you’ve been watching me ever since I took this title, waiting to take you’re chance, but like a fucking coward, you’ve been hiding in the shadows… playing the mind games.

Well, news flash… I can play those to.” Joe hesitated, the crowd beginning to stir in anticipation of what he had planned.

“So…” Joe started. “I believe the best reference to what I’ about to do, would be “Doing an NBK.” The crowd exploded…. They know exactly what pertained to “Doing an NBK.” And with the 21wrestling title laying on the canvas, and a mentally strained Joe stood before it, you knew it was coming.

He pulled out a small can of gasoline.

The crowd exploded.

“So… my anonymous 21wrestling, I’m giving you what’s more commonly knows as; An Ultimatum.

See, I don’t care who you are pal… I just want to know, you know… the whole keep your friends close, enemies even closer… yadda yadda… but yeah, if you; whoever you are, don’t come through that curtain in ohh… say.” Joe looked at his watch. “The next ten seconds.” Then, well… see this title? In about… ohh, say…” He looked at his watch again. “The next two minutes, I’ gonna have a couple of crew guys out here… sweeping the ashes off the canvas, so… what are you waiting for mystery man? Clock’s ticking.

10

9

8

The crowd pitched in, realising the countdown was on.

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

“Oh we…”

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Joe, for better use of the word, shit his pants. That was it… a bomb had just blown up the arena, the fans were dead, so was he; is what he thought, however… he knew this wasn’t true… when he got to his feet, and realised he was still alive, and that the huge explosion had been a pyrotechnic.

“Mudshovel” by Stain played throughout the arena, the crowd hissed in dissaproval, as seconds later… Kenny Rock stepped through the curtain.

“You-fucking-twat” Joe shouted… Kenny simply smiled. “IT WAS YOU!?” Joe exclaimed! “You were the 21wrestling mystery man? Why… you… you traitorous fucker!”

“Er… chill you’re boots Camel… I wasn’t involved in that…….. unfortunately.” Kenny finished, a smirk of pleasure appearing on his face. “Im insulted Camel… that you think I’d take all of that trouble over a worthless wrestling title, please? Do you think I have no shame!?” Keny went on.

“But in all seriousness Camel, you know why I’m here.” Kenny finished, pausing as the intense hatred of the crowd rained down on him.

“Do I?” Joe replied.

“Don’t play dumb Campbell, bad things happen to people who play games with me… just ask Nerva… oh! Wait… you can’t, I broke her jaw!” Kenny said with a grin, the crowd despised him, and although he hadn’t broken Nerva’s jaw, even a reference to doing so after last night’s attack was enough to set the crowd off.

“You’re a very funny man Kenny, you know…. I had you down for a lot of things, but a woman beater wasn’t one of them.” Joe responded.

“Woman beater? Please… what I did last night wasn’t ethically ‘beating a woman’” Kenny stopped, and the more serious expression in his face took over. “What I did last night… was the equivalent of knocking down a brick wall, last night… I knocked down three of them… and tonight, the last one… comes crashing down.” Kenny finished, staring down at Joe.

“Yeah… whatever sick and twisted definition you have for it Kenny, these people don’t buy it, nor do I.”

“Please Camel… you can’t be suggesting that I actually enjoyed all of that violence and maiming last night?” Kenny touched the sledge hammer wound on his forehead. “Well… at least, I didn’t enjoy it; too much” Kenny said with an evil grin.

Joe started to speak, but it was apparent that Kenny was in mid rant.

“I mean after all Camel… I couldn’t have enjoyed it… I’m “Just Kenny Rock” after all, no big threat, no big deal right? I seem to remember hearing that when I was doing house shows for you a few months back… but well, times have changed Camel, I now own you’re shows, I’m the number one contender for the main title in this promotion? Sheer luck? I don’t think so… I earned this Camel, sure… my ways weren’t as orthodox as most would use, but I did it… and tonight.

I’ll be the new Asylum champion, like it, or not.” Kenny finished.

“That’s all good and well Kenny, so… lets see, you came down here to give me that load of soppy drivel? Or just you actually have a purpose in interrupting my burning of this piece of shit title?

Kenny nodded.

“I came down here for two reasons Camel… my Asylum championship shot, where, and when?” Kenny said arrogantly.

“Well… we have a problem there I’m afraid.” Joe replied.

“So I noticed, I already figured that the human cannon fodders, I mean… Borst and Inmate… wouldn’t be in a very fighting spirit tonight.” Kenny said, almost chuckling.

“That’s right Kenny… I seriously doubt either will be able to make an appearance tonight.” Joe said. “But then Kenny, that isn’t the problem… the problem lies… in the fact that Borst appears to have “borrowed” the Asylum championship.

Kenny’s face screwed up into a ball of rage.

“BUT! Before you say anything Kenny… I’ll finish, Borst appears to have “borrowed” the Asylum championship… which is why….” Joe leaned over to his gym bag. “I have THIS!”

The crowd exploded with cheers, Joe held up a glinting title belt, with the new Asylum logo emblazoned across the front, the title was gleaming amidst the camera flashes and arena light.

“This…. Is the NEW Asylum title!” Joe cried, a smile coming across his face.

Kenny was entranced, he licked his lips.

“Alright Camel… so…” He took a few steps down the aisle, rubbing his hands together. “Hand it over!”

“Not-so-fast.” Joe replied, much to the crowd’s delight. “You think I’m actually going to GIVE you this title? Ahahaha… erm, I don’t think so.”

Kenny stopped, the look of rage returned to his face. “You can’t do that Camel… im the number one contender! That title, with no opponent… is mine by right?”

“Bzzzzzzzt, wrong answer.” Joe replied with a smile. “If you recall Kenneth… I have full control over all of you’re Asylum matches… and therefore… I’ve found you an opponent for tonight!”

The crowd exploded.

Kenny continued to look pissed off.

“I don’t think its completely out of the blue though… I mean, when you give someone a beating like that… it normally comes around to bite you in the ass… I bet you weren’t expecting it be one night later though were you? You’re opponent is…!”

The crowd erupted, the hint for them was enough, they already knew… Kenny did too, his shook his head in refusal.

“NERVA!” Joe cried, Kenny finally started to throw abuse at Joe, but it was no use. “So Kenny, if I were you… I’d get backstage and do some training, I think Nerva already has a good twenty minutes advantage on you on that one.

Kenny frowned, he knew he’d have to get some training in, and so… he walked back up the aisle, and through the curtain, finally… Joe had the last laugh.

He stopped, putting the new Asylum title back in his bag… and looked down at the 21 title with a menacing smile. “Now… where were we?” Joe said, taking the Gasoline out.

But once again… he was in for an unexpected surprise.

“Walk” by Pantera.

The crowd exploded with a massive amount of cheers, because they knew full well who was about to appear, the man who’d made a shocking arrival on pay per view last night, stepped through the curtain.

Kodiak Vic Creed.

And in that second, the question pertaining to him every appearing on Asylum tv again was answered, the fWo internet champion… more than likely dropping in on his way to Slaughter, walked through the curtain much to the crowds delight, Joe cocked his head up and a ‘What now?’ expression appeared on his face.

“What the hell do you want?” Joe said rather confidently.

“If you don’t know what I want by now… you’re even stupider than you look, little man.” Creed said with a smirk, Joe’s face screwed up… he was feeling pretty good after putting Kenny Rock away… and wasn’t about to have some roid monkey of a wrestler stop his fun.

“No… fat boy, I don’t know what you wan’t” Joe aid with a smirk…

“Well…” Creed started, shooting an incy glare at Joe “I was gonna ask nicely for a contract… but now? Now I’m gonna have to beat one out of you.”

“Beat one out of me? HA! The day a fat bastard wrestler beats a contract out of me, is the day I… erk!” Joe was halted, mainly due to the fact that Creed has administered a vice like grip around his throat.

“You see this hand, little man?” Creed said with a smirk, Joe tried to speak, but couldn’t. “Well… there’s 600lbs of force per square inch in there… which means if I want to… I can pop you’re head like a balloon… does that appeal to you?”

Joe simply frowned. “Wrong answer.” Creed said with a smirk, lifting Joe off his feet, and climbing out of the Asylum, Joe was kicking his legs, but Creed’s power was immense, seconds later, Joe found himself at the top of the aisle. Creed threw him to the ground.

“Now, you can either give me a contract…” Creed started… but was interrupted, he hated being interrupted.

“Fuck you you fat waster!” Joe said, still rubbing his throat. “You come down here… bloody choke me, and expect a contract? Piss off!” Joe cried.

Creed raised an eyebrow. And seconds later, grabbed Joe by the ankle, lifting him with ease into the air.

And taking a few steps forward.

Joe was now hanging head first over a 15 foot drop to the floor. “Have any recent change’s of opinion, little man?” Creed said, Joe was now hanging over a hefty drop which would see him land on his head.

“Erm… well… yeah, now that you mention it… I sort of do think giving you a contract might be a good idea… say? I don’t know… if you put me down somewhere over there… we’ll call it a verbal deal?”

Creed didn’t say anything more, he simply tossed Joe adise on the ramp, and made an exit, Joe got to his feet, dusting himself off and walking back down to the Asylum looking quite embarrassed, he picked up the bag, tossed the 21w title into it, and walked away… completely forgetting that he was going to burn the title.

Joe’s problems for the night however, were only just beginning.





Not to be censored.


Mike Westwood stood in front of Nerva’s locker room door with a microphone in-hand, and knocked. “Nerva? Are you in there? This is Mike Westwood, and I was wondering-” Her voice cut him off.

“Come in.” He entered, and saw Nerva sitting down on a bench, slipping her knee-brace on. She was sporting the Asylum’s new logo thong.

“Nerva, last night you suffered a loss to Kenny Rock, partly due to a pre-match attack from him and Persephone. Tonight, you get the opportunity for a rematch, but this time the vacant Asylum World Title is on the line. Are you ready?” She buckled the straps, and then looked up.

“I sure am.” Pause. “You see, Mike, the last time I won a title in the Asylum, it didn’t make it on television. The head offices didn’t want their fans to see a woman winning the U.K. Title. Tonight, I *will* win the Asylum World Title. Men, women, and children alike will see me make history again.”

Mike Westwood nodded. “And what about your knee injury?”

Nerva shrugged. “I’ll survive. Kenny Rock knows how to exploit things to his advantage, but tonight there’s nothing more that I’d love than to show him up.”






Persephone Vs Steph Connor
(Womens title)


With Zoe Borst evidently... unable to defend the womens title, it had been vacated, and the two women deemed tobe worthy contenders; Persephone and Steph Connor, were to be given a chance to take the gold.

"Try again" by Aaliyah played throughout the speakers, as Steph Connor made her way to the Asylum, to a good reaction for once, following the lesbian issues, and the fact that she was facing Persephone, Connor was quite the fan favourite, and as she stepped into the Asylum, she was perhaps the favourite to take the match as well.

As she clambered in "Infected" by Bad Religion kicked up, sending the crowd into a booing frenzy as Persephone made her way down to the Asylum, she clambered in... but was quickly tackled down to the canvas by Steph! Who instantly tried to lock her into Cryogenic sleep!

No Such luck!

Persephone merely kicked Steph between the eyes, before getting to her feet, and slamming Steph to the mat by her hair, she proceeded to stompon the downed Connor, before standing over her, and hitting her about the head.

Steph broke free... a quick poke to Persephone's eyes being enough, she then rocked Persephone back with a solid kick to the jaw, finishing her off with a hard clothesline!

Persephone however... was getting ready to pull of a nice cheating tactic.

She waited for Steph to be close enough and returned the favour, poking her in the eye, before grabbing her by the hair... swinging her around a few times, and slamming her skull first into the Asylum mesh!

Persephone reached over the edge of the Asylum, and pulled in a chair.

The crowd boo'ed.

Steph Connor swept Persephone's legs!

The crowd went wild!

Connor grabbed the chair, and as Persephone got to her feet, she was sent back down! Steph hitting her with a wicked chair shot across the spine!

But the crowd were booing.

Why?

Kenny Rock.

Kenny made his way smugly down to the Asylum, reaching it... he climbed up the steps, reached in... and grabbed a hand full of Steph's hair.

He pulled her out of the Asylum.

Persephone was the new womens champion, just like that!

Kenny left, as "Infected" By Bad Religion played again, Persephone was handed the womens champion, as a disenfranchised Steph stood on the outside.

Kenny Rock; Repaying a favour perhaps?

Or did Persephone owe him one?

Persephone via Ringout





Scared?


Joe walked down the backstage of the arena, still twitchy from earlier on, he carried with him the bag containing the new Asylum championship, and the 21wrestling championship.

He walked very cautiously down the corridors, every so often, a door would open or a lightbulb would twitch, and he’d crap himself, this mystery 21wrestling person was getting into his head now… he looked down at… the scummie, 21wrestling title, and wondered if it was even worth it.

Lets face it; Pretend bomb, real bomb; can of acid… blown up car… it wasn’t worth it.

He’d go to his office, sort out a bit of paperwork, and then burn the fucking title once and for all.

But as he got to his office… he saw something quite peculiar.

A small white note on the door.

“Ah well, at least it isn’t a bomb…” Joe muttered to himself, notes didn’t scare him… he’d got plenty from the guy, who was in fact, quite civil for a nutter, Joe picked it up.

“You lay an ultimatum down for me, I lay one down for you;

If I don’t get the title tonight;

I’m going to cut your fucking eyes out… and feed them to you.”

Joe gulped.

This HAD to stop.






"Yo Mama" Callous(c) Vs Hypnosis
(T.V. Title)


"Devil's Nightmare" by Oxide & Neutrino played throughout the arena, signalling the arrival of Hypnosis, coming off the back of a victory over Dark, he made his way down to the Asylum with a confident look in his eye, before stepping and and awaiting his opponent.

Sure enough, “Know your enemy” by Rage Against the Machine, blasted throughout the arena… and “Yo Mama” Callous made an entry, the Asylum T.V. title strapped firmly around his waist. He raised his arms to a not-so-welcome response from the crowd, before unstrapping the title and marching down to the Asylum, he stepped in and was soon nose to nose with Hypnosis… Callous symbolically threw the title down before Hypnosis, and seconds later… the brawl was on.

No handshake, just instant violence, Hypnosis and Callous throwing wild rights and lefts at each other! Callous, being the fresher man from not having a matc at severed, took advantage straight away, battering Hypnosis into the corner.

THUD!

A HARD low blow to Hypnosis, Callous followed up swiftly, kneeing Hypnosis in the gut, grabbing his head… and hitting him with a wicked DDT into the Asylum mesh! Hypnosis sprung back, falling flat out on the canvas, at which point, Callous sat atop of him, and pounded him about the head with hard rights and lefts!

Hypnosis struggled, turning over, but now finding Callous sat on his back, still hitting him about the head! Hypnosis crawled away, but a carefully measured kick to the ribs soon had him rolling around in agony, Hypnosis was in trouble, as Callous pulled him up by the hair, drilling him across the face with a right hand, before kicking him below the belt again, and ramming him into the Asylum rim! Once! Twice! A Third time!

The crowd grimaced, as Hypnosis hit the canvas, blood now trickling down his face, he appeared to have blown another shot at an Asylum title, Hynposis could always get close, but never seemed to pull off the performance on the night, and now… he was closing in on his first loss in a long while.

Callous kicked Hypnosis about the Asylum, taking great pleasure in the repeated shots to the ribs, he stooped down, slapping Hypnosis about the head.

“Get up bitch.” Callous said, almost laughing.

The response he got, wasn’t one he was expecting.

“Ok… bitch, I WILL!” Hypnosis snarled, rocking back Callous with a solid punch in the face! Callous stumbled back, before rushing at Hypnosis, who simply raised a foot.

CRUNCH!

Callous, groin first… into Hypnosis’ foot! Callous let out a huge “OOF!” stumbling back again holding his groin, Hypnosis steadily got to his feet, flattening Callous with a HUGE lariat! Callous swayed back up to his feet, the crowd were now getting behind Hypnosis, he swung again!

Callous ducked.

WHACK!

A second swing, levelling Callous again! Callous hits the canvas, as Hypnosis takes a moment to repay favours. “Now why don’t you get up? bitch!” Hypnosis said, delivering a swift kick to the ribs of Callous, and another, and another! AND ANOTHER! Callous rolled around in pain on the canvas, as Hypnosis did something which stirred up the crowd even more.

SNAP!

He cracked up a chair from rindside, and turned, Callous was down on the canvas, as Hypnosis drew back the chair!

CRACK!

Not a chair shot.

A HARD low blow!

Callous sprung up, low blowing Hypnosis who doubled over, a second later, Callous had taken the chair, and cracked it against Hypnosis’ spine! Hypnosis struggled, getting back to his knee’s! CRACK! Another chair shot to the spine, Hypnosis turned, CRACK! A final shot to the head to send him down!

Callous was now the subject of some great boo’s from the crowd, he simply smirked, and measured back the chair for one last fateful blow!

He didn’t however, notice Stephanie Connor making her way down the aisle. The crowd exploding with cheer’s should have been fair warning, but Steph was after revenge, after being taped nude in the showers by Callous, she took no hesitation in clambering into the Asylum, and hitting him with a HARD low blow as he drew back the chair!

Callous stumbled forth, another low blow! He fell to his knee’s as Steph smiled and exited the asylum, she may have lost earlier in the night, but she’s hit a big… two… blows to Callous, Hypnosis stumbled to his feet, as the crowd leapt to theirs.

CRACK!

Hypnosis grabbed the chair, and gave Callous a swift smack across the head; scoop. CRACK!… and just like that, it was over. Hynposis dropped Callous with “Knocked the fuck out” onto the steel chair! The crowd exploded! As Hypnosis got to his feet, rather than chancing Callous getting up, Hypnosis grabbed his legs and synched in the Hypnotiser!

But Callous? He was already unconscious, and the referee saw this, meaning only one thing.

NEW T.V. champion! “Devil's Nightmare” by Oxide and Neutrino played through the arena, and Hypnosis released the hold… he realised that he’d finally done it. The referee handed the T.V. title to Hypnosis, who fell to a sitting position, looking at the title, he got to his feet, and raised it into the air much to the crowd’s delight, tonight, was Hypnosis’ night.

Hypnosis via Knockout





How do you plead? Part 1


"Tyler Burton. You are charged with the attempted murder of Mr Boris Dmitri Borst on Saturday 1st September, 2001 and the involuntary manslaughter of Mrs Zoe Borst on Saturday 1st September, 2001."

A close up of the judges mouth is shown. "How do you plead to the charge of attempted murder? Guilty, or not guilty?"

The camera switches from the face of the judge to a close up of Tyler's mouth, as he stands before the court.

"Guilty."

It switches back to show the judge once more. "And how do you plead to the charge of involuntary manslaughter? Guilty, or not guilty?"

"Guilty."

Tyler's head drops and a shot of the large courtroom is shown. His mother burst into tears in the background as the judge gives the sentencing. "Tyler Burton. You are sentenced to three years imprisonment for attempted murder and involuntary manslaughter."

There's a close up on the judges desk as the judge slams the hammer down, as the picture switches back to the arena.






Nicodemus(c) Vs Carnage
(Extreme title)


“It's alright… It's alright…. It's just a little Crazy… It's alright.. It's alright… I'M just a little Crazy!” Echoed through the arena, and the crowd rose to their feet as “Click Click Boom” By Saliva played throughout the pa system! The crowd cheered, almost in disbelief perhaps, not only was Nicodemus out, and making his was down to the Asylum with his Extreme title, but the fact that he was going to fighting for the second time in two nights, after a gruelling match with Archangel, was almost unbelievable!

Nico made his way to the Asylum, a barbed wire wrapped kendo stick in one hand, and what appeared to be a barbed wire wrapped table tucked under the other arm, he stepped into the Asylum, and handed the Extreme title to the referee, whilst giving him a cold stare at the same time!

The question was, who would Nicodemus be facing? Well… for those who’d been following closely, the answer was quite elementary, many weeks ago, Cornelius Corteia, was victorious in an Extreme title number one contender match, but with Carnage’s problems with Synn, compiled with Nico’s death matches with Archangel, the two had been side tracked, and it would have appeared that Carnage wasn’t going to get hit shot.

Evidently, it wasn’t true.

The crowd did what was a mixture of grimacing and screaming in shock, “Gilty Conscience” by Eminem played throughout the arena… and Carnage made hiw way out onto the top of the aisle.

He didn’t have his usual Trademark “Maximum Carnage” shirt on, it was probably extremely painful to even attempt to put in on, Carnage was a mass of white bandage and tape, he’d been the victim of his own knife so many times as of late, he was beginning to look like a murder attempt gone wrong, Carnage smiled his usual twisted and demented grin toward Nico, and Carnage’s usually yellow teeth, were stained red with blood, it was somewhat amazing that Carnage wasn’t hospitalised from the blood loss, what the fans didn’t know was, that he was… and decided to release himself.

Carnage didn’t bring any weaponry with him… at least, not any visible weaponry, the crowd, commentators, and more than likely Nico, all knew that he probably had “the knife” somewhere on his person.

Carnage’s mental problems, mixed in with his blood loss, were clearly effecting his outlook on the match.

“This is it Synn! This is where I… KILL YOU! AHAHAHahHAHaHAhA!” Carnage roared, much to the confusion of Nico, and the fans in attendace, Carnage then did what always stirred up the crowd.

He drew out the knife from the back of his jeans, and rushed down to the Asylum! He climbed up the steps and…

CRACK!

The crowd grimaced, Carnage had placed his hand with the knife over the Asylum rim, and Nico struck the wrist, extremely hard, hitting it with his Kendo stick and sandwiching it between it and the mesh! Carnage yelled out, dropping the knife to the canvas, and clutching his wrist, he didn’t have long to do so however, as Nico grabbed him, giving him a brainbuster from outside the Asylum to inside, dropping him headfirst on the flat barbed wire table!

The crowd gasped in shock, as Carnage bounced off the barbed wire table, his head starting to bleed from the back already! He rolled over, just about dodging three vicious Nico kendo shots!

LOW BLOW!

Carnage caught Nico with a low blow, buying enough time to get to his feet, and kick him below the belt, another low blow! Nico dropped to his knees! As Carnage snatched the Kendo stick!

CRACK!

A swift strike across the back of Nico, but it appeared to have little effect! Nico got to his feet, before returning the favour, kicking Carnage below the belt, and flattening him with a huge lariat!

Nico grabbed the table, wrapped in barbed wire, he set it up, before picking Carnage up and rolling him onto it, Nico clambered up onto what was indeed an extremely sturdy table! He lifted Carnage, and hoisted up, positioning to slam him down with Armageddon! Nico was about to end the match!

But he didn’t manage to do so.

Carnage kicked and struggled, falling free of Nico and landing behind him!

Snap German Suplex!

Well, not quite… due to Nico’s huge mass, Carnage was able to hook him around the waist, and elevate him slightly off the table, before moving like a cat, leaping to the side and falling onto the canvas, as Nico crashed down through the barbed wire table!

Carnage rolled up, momentarily coughing some blood up from the stress of having to lift Nico, he immediately set to work on Nico following a short disturbing phrase.

“You thought you’d killed me Synn! AHahahAHAhahAH! You can’t kill me! NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST!” He said frantically, using the barbed wire on the table to bing Nico’s arms behind his back!

Nico struggled to his feet as Carnage clubbed him in the head with his fist! Desperately trying to keep Nico down, or “Synn” as the image in his head clearly depicted Nico!

Carnage grabbed Nico’s barbed wire kendo stick! Nico struggled to his feet, CRACK! Carnage whacked him straight across the forehead with the stick! Nico didn’t move! CRACK! Another shot by Carnage! CRACK! Another! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! But Nico refused to go down, Carnage ran back, measuring a run up… he sprinted at Nico!

CRACK~!

Nico raised a boot, connecting with the kendo stick, which in turn cannoned into Carnage’s face, the barbed wire busting him open, Carnage’s momentum send him flying, landing in a heap on the canvas, Nico then proceeded to make the crowd gasp once more.

By snapping the barbed wire which bound his arms! Nico was furious, blood now pouring down his face, he pulled up Carnage, simply hurling him out of the Asylum and following!

But not without picking Carnage’s knife up on the way! Carnage began to crawl up the aisle, reaching the top as Nico ran in with the knife, slashing and narrowly missing Carnage’s face!

Carnage kicked out, catching Nico in the ribs, and then grabbing his knife grasping hand, slamming it into the steel structure of the video wall several times, before he finally released the knife, Carnage picked it up, looking into the gleaming blade and re-inserting the knife into his pocket for safe keeping.

Meaning, he never saw Nico coming!

WHACK!

Carnage received a massive kick to the ribs, Nico hoisted him up, preparing to powerbomb him off the stage! The crowd gasped, as Nico walked toward the edge, Carnage however caught Nico in the nose with a right hand, and another, and another!

Nico was backing away from the edge of the stage.

Carnage was saved.

Or was he?

Nico continued backwards, almost running now, and going under the video wall.

Carnage however, being on his shoulders, couldn’t go under!

CRACK!

Carnage’s head connected at pace with the steel “Fuckhead” logo above the entrance, he fell to the steel ramp, leaving a huge blood smear on the logo! The crowd gasped as Carnage hit the ground, as the referee began a count.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Carnage began to get to his feet!

8

He was up!

Nico and Carnage again began to exchange fists, now disappearing through the curtain! They re-emerged on the other side, into a corridor, several fists later, they ended up into a second corridor, full of fans! Carnage and Nico brawled back and forth, before Nico took advantage, using a one handed throat toss to throw Carnage back first into a metal grid window! The glass shattered and the metal grid dented, as Carnage fell to the ground amongst the shattered glass, Nico moved away, before screams echoed through the corridor, as he took one of the popcorn stands, and began to wheel it at the downed Carnage!

Carnage moved!

Nico’s momentum sent the popcorn stand into the wall, knocking Nico backwards, before rolling slowly, and agonisingly over his leg!

Carnage got to his feet… pulling him to his feet, and taking him half way down a flight of stairs, before rolling him over the edge! However, Nico was simply rolled onto some glass panels around ten feet above the bustling fans which walked unbeknownst below! Carnage walked back up the steps, destruction on his mind.

“This is it Synn… time to DIE! AHahAHAHaha-“

CRACK!

Carnage never finished the sentence!

He felt a steel chair hit, and crumple around his head.

Kodiak Vic Creed.

Creed caught Carnage with a hellacious chair shot as he reached to top of the stair, Carnage fell forward onto his face, as KVC stepped back and slammed the chair down.

Using his huge arms, KVC lifted Carnage up, lifting him into an inverted gorilla press.

He wasn’t however… as suggested by the position of Carnage, going for the Powerdriver! KVC carried Carnage to the edge of a balcony, looking down, at what was surely a 25 foot drop, mid way down however, was Nicodemus, laying on the glass overhang, KVC’s eyes intensified.

And he threw Carnage.

Carnage however, had a good idea of what was going on, and in mid air… he reshaped his body.

MAXIUMUM CARNAGE!

Carnage hit Nico, and the results were explosive, the glass overhang collapsed in an explosion of twisted metal and glass, Nico and Carnage plummeted a further 10 feet to the ground, as KVC simply dusted off his hands, and walked away.

The referee rushed down the stairs, to administer a count!

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Carnage got to his knees from the glass… he was up!

9!

Nico was pinned beneath a huge steel girder, he struggled, but was unable to get from beneath it.

10!

Crowd’s of fans gathered in shock… as Carnage stumbled around dazed, and Nico continued to struggle between the huge girder, Carnage was the NEW Extreme champion!

A fair result?

By no means. But thanks, inadvertently, to Kodiak Vic Creed… Carnage had won the title, he snatched it away… stumbling away from the violent scene! As the show went to commercial.

Carnage via Knockout




How I could just save a man


As the Asylum fans get back into their seats after getting some popcorn and t-shirts and what not, they wish they could have done it now. "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk begins to play, and walking down the ramp comes the man they haven't seen one Sunday and a Pay Per View, and they found it to be sweet glory. Noel walked down the ramp as to his surprise, the maintenance crew hadn't set up his show. Angry, Noel began yelling for the crew to come, as they hurrily tried to get the asylum set up for his segment.

"Get it ready you underpaid monkeys! Wait a minute; I'm not supposed to believe that Darwin guy. Get it ready you underpaid spirits of God! Yeah, I like that one." Noel screamed and pondered in his microphone, as they finally finished the set, complete with chair, as he sat down, looking at the camera. "FINALLY, welcome to the new Edition of my Sunday Reconciliation's! You know, I would have been here last week, but Joe didn't call me to tell me where I was supposed to arrive! I had no idea! I must apologize, but I heard confessions doubled in American Churches last week, so I am happy you are all finally coming to the shows. Speaking of Joe, come on down here ol' chap!" Noel looked over at the ramp, as after a few seconds, finally Joe Cambell began to walk down the ramp, looking a bit hesitant, as Noel walked up, giving Joe a shake on the hand, before leading him to sit on the pew, but Joe seemed to not want to. "Sorry Noel, not tonight. I have a look of work to.." before Joe could finish, Noel put his hand on Joe's glasses. "Hey, doesn't Elton John wear these?" Joe smirked brightly. "Yeah, he gave them to me as a gift. You shouldn't be putting your fingers on them." Noel nodded, before ripping the shades of Cambell's face, and breaking them across the pew, as Joe's eyes brightened in amazement and inside pain. "Elton John is a fruity faggot Joe, what if his homosexual juice was on those? A shame on you! Shame shame shame! Now sit in the pew, I know you have confessions! Elton John glasses, next thing I know your going to be trying to grab Borst's cheeks." Joe, shocked as all hell, with a tear filling up in his eye, began to sit in the pew. "Forgive me Noel, for… how's it go?" Noel just shook his head. "Forgive me Noel for I have sinned, you say your last confession then get on with it." Joe began to stare at the pieces of his glasses. "DID YOU HEAR ME!?" Joe looked up, shaking his head. "Oh yeah sure sure, forgive me, I sinned, last time I confessed was last week. Okay, onto a sin, oh yeah, when I was a teenager, I used to smoke a bit of reefer. Good night folks!" Joe began to get up in his seat, before Noel shoved his shoulder as Joe's knees fell right back down. "NOT GOOD ENOUGH CAMBELL. Now, you stay right there. And to make sure you do." Noel began to move his face and arms down to Joe's knees. Joe didn't know what was happening, before he felt a cold strap cross his leg. As he looked over the pew, his legs were strapped down by large straps of leather, with a crucifix and the Catholic League shield embroidered. His eyes widened, as Noel looked back at him. "Now, confess." Joe took a breath, and began to speak.

"When I was a kid, I was smoking pot in my house, and I accidentally set a fire which burnt the entire lounge to cinders. When the firemen came to put out the fire, they came across the a stash of more weed which I hid, reported it to the police, and I kept quiet while my father actually did the time for possession and intent to supply."

The crowd looked at Joe in surprise, but Noel seemed to just shrug it. Joe looked up at him. "Alright, can I go now?" Noel just shook his head. "Great, you burned something down and blamed someone. That's nothing. I think every person in this crowd has done worse. Give me something more richer, which blackens the heart of your soul, and covers the tubes that let you be a great Christian." Joe sighed, as Noel began to pull something out. It was a steaming goblet. Joe looked at it curious. "And, what's that?" Noel began to smell it as the steam rised from his face. "Holy water, boiled at 203 degrees. You tell me your sins, or you get a bit of this dripped all over your face, and it'll be too seared for you to wear anymore homosexual glasses. Go on Joe, go on." Noel smiled, as Joe's eyes were very wide. He took a few breaths, before speaking.

I always hated my father, and I turned his life support machine off in his death bed... but I don't really consider that a sin, he deserved to die."

Noel looked shocked, as he began to yell in Joe's face. "WHAT!? That's Euthanasia! And, you broke the commandment of honouring your mother and father! You cruel waste of life!" as Noel yelled, a bit of the holy water spilled on the pew arm rest, as Joe's backed his hands, and seen the water sear right through the wood, and drop a bit on his leg. "Ahhhhh!" Joe screamed, as Noel moved his lip to a side. "Well, if you don't consider it a sin Joe, give me one more. If you give me one more, I'll let you go. Stop screaming wuss." Joe looked at him, as he held his leg, breathing hard, before speaking again.

"During the feud with GV, when I put Michelle Campbell into a coma, I actually gave the medical staff orders to make her a D.N.R and consequently, she died."

The entire crowd sat shock, remembering the scene, as Noel looked at him, before putting his hand on Joe's forehead. "By the power invested me by the Catholic League, you are healed of all your sins. You may go in peace, and try not to sin again." Joe smiled, as Noel began to release the leather leg wraps. As Joe began to walk free, Noel grabbed him back by the arm, and began to douse the goblet of all it's holy water contents onto Joe's arm, as he screamed. "This is your penance. I feel you just praying to some virgin would be way too little for a killer. MULTIPLE killer. Wow, I've lost respect in you Joe. You're a teenage abortionist in my eyes now. God damn. Oh, sorry God." Noel got off his chair, as "Jesus Freak" began to play, as EMT's began to walk up to Joe, for help on his scolding hand.




Have the title

"Blood in my eyes" by Disturbed played throughout the arena for the second time in the night, as a nervous looking Joe Campbell made his way down to the Asylum, he had the duffle bag containing the titles in it, and again, as he reached the Asylum, he got ahold of a microphone.

"Cut my eyes out and feed them to me?" Joe started. "Ok… I've had enough of this shite… I've been mocked, nearly blown up… twice… nearly melted, and now? Now I get these fucking death threats.

Well it ends.

Now

I don't want this fucking title anymore… so right now… im going to give it up." The crowd were shocked, and erupted with boo's.

"Yep…" Joe started. "Im not going to burn it… not going to chuck it in a river, I'm going to give it up, just like Mr. 21wrestling asked."

More boo's.

"So here it is… on record, I give up, the 21wrestling title!" The crowd continued to boo.

"Erm… people, why are you booing?" They quietened down. "I didn't even telling youwho I was giving it up to yet!" The crowd erupted, the suggestion was obvious, Joe was going to give the Asylum title to someone.

"So… without further ado." Joe paused. "Its going to… ERCK!"

Joe stopped.

Mainly because he was having the hell choked out of him.

By whom?

By the 21wrestling representative.

Who was it?

Who else.

"Mad" Max Marx.

Marx had Joe locked firmly in the O.D., screaming in Joe's ear, Joe had started to go purple, before several security guards rushed down to the Asylum with cattle prods.

ZAP!

ZAP ZAP ZAP!

Marx finally released Joe, as the security guards took his arms and dragged him out of the Asylum, still kicking, Marx was furious.

Joe caught his breath, before picking up the microphone.

"HA-HA-HA cough…" Joe stopped. "Well well Mr. Marx… straight into the trap, quite brilliant of me wasn't it, to have these guys waiting in the back with the cattle prods, I guess you're just getting a little bit too predictable."

Marx struggled to get free.

"Nah, you're going no-where pal… now, as I was saying… the 21wrestling championship goes to…

ARCHANGEL!" The crowd exploded with cheers, as "Bodies" by Drowning Pool hit the speakers, and after a short delay, the monstrous Archangel made an appearance! Archangel made his way down to the Asylum, glaring at Joe more than anything, he stepped in… and took a mic of his own.

"And what, exactly… makes you think that I want you're insignificant title?" Archangel began, Joe's face changed… he wasn't expecting this, but suddenly… his face changed back to a smile.

"Two reasons Arch… number one.

See that psychotic freak down there?" Joe pointed to Marx, still struggling to break free from security., Archangel looked and smirked, before looking back to Joe.

"You'll get to face him on Thursday night." The crowd exploded, Angel appeared to be interested.

"But that's not it… if you win?

The title is yours." The crowd exploded again, this was a change for Asylum to keep the 21wrestling title, permanently.

"So Arch, what do you say?" Joe said, the crowd now buzzing with excitement, Archangel say anything.

He didn't need to.

He stooped down, scooped up the title, and left… to another huge explosion of cheers from the crowd.

"Eeeeeeexcellent." Joe smiled. "Boys…" Joe said to the security. "Throw that loon out of the back." He pointed to Marx, who was snarling at him, security carried Marx away, as Joe removed the new Asylum title from the bag.

"Well… I might as well leave this here… guess you know what's coming next." Joe finished, leaving the title at ringside, he left a crowd still roaring with excitement.






Kenny Rock Vs Nerva
(Asylum Championship)


The crowd rose when “Superbeast” by Rob Zombie blared over the speakers. Nerva limped down the aisle to a cheering crowd, and stepped into the cage. It was apparent that she was ready for Kenny Rock, with one hundred percent focus. Staind’s “Mudshovel” replaced her music, and soon Kenny Rock walked out from the entrance, wielding his sledgehammer. He walked down the aisle and entered the Asylum cage. Pointing with his sledgehammer, Kenny reminded Nerva of the damage he did last night. He walked towards her, but at three feet she reached into the back of her pants and pulled out a pair of nunchuks.

Kenny took a step back. “Let’s do this hand-to-hand, like real fighters.” Nerva nodded, closed her nunchuks, and held them out to drop them at the same time Kenny held his sledgehammer to drop. She dropped the nunchuks first, but Kenny didn’t drop his weapon; instead, he lunged towards Nerva. She ducked the shot, and hook kicked Kenny in the back of the head. Kenny’s arms fell over the rim of the cage, and he dropped the sledgehammer.

Now it was a fair fight.

Nerva delivered rapid kicks to his hamstrings, and dropped him with a reverse DDT. Still on a fresh tank, Kenny popped up at a count of three. He bent his body forward like an amateur wrestler, and before Nerva could lift a leg up to kick, he grappled her to the floor with a single-leg takedown. He held a leg under one arm, and pounded away at the injured knee with his free hand. Nerva screamed in pain from each shot, but managed to pull her leg free and kick him in the groin.

Her knee still aggravating, Nerva rolled over and got up, but Kenny was quick to kick her leg out from under. Kenny dropped down with a fist to the head, stood up, and dropped down with a knee to the throat. Nerva held her neck choking, but Kenny helped her up by the hair and snap-suplexed her to the mat. He pulled her up again before the ref could count her down, and delivered hard punches to her heavily bandaged forehead.

As Kenny reeled back for a final heavy punch, Nerva managed to get her senses together, and then she dodged it. With Kenny committed, Nerva used his momentum to her advantage by flipping him over by the arm. She immediately applied a cross arm-breaker, wrenching back as hard as she could, hoping for a submission. Kenny writhed in pain from the move, but the hours of weightlifting paid off on his biceps as he tore his arm free. Both stood up to a vertical base, but the quicker Nerva struck Kenny in the ribs with a stiff roundhouse kick, and then hooked him up for a bulldog. Kenny managed to counter the move into an atomic drop, and thereafter he locked Nerva into a full nelson.

She struggled to break free, but she ate the mat as Kenny tripped her forward. Kenny then jockeyed over to her legs and applied an excruciating half-crab. It was how he beat her last night, and it was now he wanted to beat her on this night. But on this occasion, Nerva wasn’t unconscious, and she managed to verbalize a refusal to quit to the ref. “Give up, you bitch! Give up!” screamed Kenny as he increased pressure on the hold. She managed to grab Kenny’s foot, and reversed the hold into an ankle lock in her favor.

Kenny pounded the mat with his fists, but soon sat up and punched away at Nerva’s injured knee. Eventually, she released the hold and rolled onto her stomach. Kenny grabbed her leg, brought it up, and slammed the injured knee down to the mat. Nerva grabbed her hair in pain, and Kenny repeated the process three more times. Nerva rolled over onto her back, clutching her knee. Kenny began to mock Nerva, tapping his foot against her face and challenging her to get up. He bent over, yanked her hands away from her knee, and positioned her leg flat against the mat. He jumped up, and came down knee-to-knee. Nerva screamed again in pain, and Kenny only furthered the pain by dropping an elbow onto her knee.

His plan of attack was working.

He grabbed her from behind, and planted her to the mat with a release German suplex. Nerva slowly got up from the move, but Kenny executed a double-leg takedown on her. With both of her legs in his grasps, he applied a sharpshooter. Kenny felt victory only a tap-out away. The ref dropped down, and asked Nerva if she wanted to give.

No way.

Nerva pushed herself up, and broke out of the hold much like the way she did with the single-leg crab. She tried to completely reverse the position and apply the sharpshooter herself, but her inexperience with the move allowed Kenny to struggle his legs free of the grapevine. Kenny was first up, but Nerva took him down with a sweep. Nerva waited on Kenny to get up, and when he did, she laced him with a roundhouse to the ribs, and spun around with a tornado kick to the face. She then jumped up, kicked off the cage’s rim, and smacked Kenny in the temple with a sidekick.

Kenny went down for eight, but got up at nine.

The fans almost witnessed the first woman to hold the Asylum World Title.

Nerva did a handspring forward, and delivered a hard punch to Kenny’s face, followed by a back-fist, and then an elbow shot with the other arm. Kenny stepped back a couple of feet, and Nerva lifted her leg up high for a standing axe kick, but Kenny knew how dangerous that kick was.

He pulled his head back to dodge it, but it ended up hitting him in the groin. His eyes widened from the blow, and Nerva took the opportunity to head butt him with her hard skull. Nerva then wowed the crowd with the first part of the Double Touch - a 360-degree spin kick, but things went foul for her when she reached 720 degrees and went for the second mid-air spin kick.

Kenny moved.

Nerva’s leg fell on top of the cage, her bad knee striking the rim. She was now straddling the cage in a vulnerable position, and Kenny smiled, before jumping up for The Finisher. Nerva blocked the kick, however, and punched Kenny in the side of his neck. But more bad news came for Nerva.

Persephone.

The new Women’s Champion carried the belt under her arm and rushed towards the cage. With Nerva distracted with her knee, Persephone jumped up with the belt and slammed the gold plate over the back of Nerva’s head. Nerva fell back into the cage, prime for Kenny Rock. He stood there with his arms crossed, and then nodded at Persephone, as if there was something else planned.

And there was.

Persephone pulled a pair of handcuffs from her pants, and cuffed Nerva’s left wrist to the rim. She pulled out another pair, and cuffed Nerva’s right hand to the rim. Nerva was now in a helpless state. Kenny applied a figure-four leg-lock, and the referee was checking on an unconscious Nerva. Before the ref could make a decision, Kenny released the hold, and shook his head. “No, that’s not good enough.” He grabbed the bottom of Nerva’s pant leg, and ripped it vertically up to her knee, where the brace was. He pulled it off, and tossed it aside as Persephone looked on approvingly. With her injured knee exposed, Kenny applied the figure-four leg-lock.

The ref called for the bell.

Kenny Rock had finally become Asylum Champion.

He kept the hold on for longer, but showed mercy when the ref threatened to reverse the decision. The ref handed Kenny his belt, and the new champion smiled at the sight of it in his hands. He raised it to a loud roar of boos, and then told Persephone, “She’s all yours.” Persephone entered the cage as Kenny walked up to the entrance to raise the belt again as his music raced over the speakers. The fans didn’t like what they were seeing - not one bit.

Persephone delivered rapid kicks to Nerva’s mid-section, and then slapped her in the face repeatedly, challenging her to fight back. Nerva did just that, front kicking her in the jaw, slipping out of her cuffs, and then tackling her to the ground. Persephone rolled on top, hammering Nerva with rights, but Nerva managed to bring both of her and Persephone up to a vertical base, where they started to punch each other back and forth. Officials piled into the cage to break the two voracious women up, and despite her injured knee, Nerva struggled in the grasps of the officials.

Kenny Rock enjoyed the chaos with the title draped over one shoulder and the sledgehammer carried over the other. Calling it a night, he brushed through the curtains.

Kenny Rock via Referee Decision





How do you plead? Part 2


"Mr Borst... the list of charges you're facing is indeed quite long." the judge says as he peers down at the documents sitting in front of him. He peers up from beneath his spectacles and looks at Borst who's standing handcuffed before him. Borst winks at the judge and says, "Nice. Good read is it?"

"Mr Borst, would you kindly not speak unless otherwise instructed to. Thank you." the judge replies, before putting his glasses back on properly and reading out the list of charges. "Boris Dmitri Borst. You are charged with the following." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "Assuming a false identity, twenty seven charges of assault, domestic violence, arson, five case of slander, three cases of criminal damage, thirty five cases of hate crimes relating to race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity/national origin and disability." The judge takes a moment to clear his throat. "Breach of contract with the Asylum, handling a firearm without a license, two cases of involuntary manslaughter, five charges of attempted murder..." The judge looks up at Borst who has that familiar emotionless look on his face. "I think that's all, isn't it?" the judge says sarcastically.

"Well..." Borst says. "You missed out cruelty to animals... there's a dead cat with your name on it somewhere." Wink. "I can think of about fifty two more cases of assault, as well as perverting the course of justice. Framing that bloke Rico and getting him sent down... handled some class A drugs while doing the framing too. Lost count of the hate crimes though, probably went in triple figures."

The judge and the rest of the court look quite shocked. Borst raises his cuffed hands for a moment. "Oh yeah... are you gonna clarify that the attempted murder was all on Tyler Burton, the arson being a top wrestling promotion, the criminal damage also being on top wrestling promotions, most of the hate crimes being gay and women related and stuff, the domestic violence being slutty wife related... oh yeah, there are seven more cases of criminal damage you seemed to miss. And does pissing on an American flag count for anything? That was done about... hmm, forty odd times."

Silence.

"Let the record show that Mr Borst admitted to..." the judge pauses for a moment to think, and then just shakes his head. "Several other crimes."

"Over three hundred probably." Borst said cockily, as if he was proud. "So Judge Fuckhead, what's the charge?"

"Since you've pretty much done everything else, I'll ignore the obscene language used a moment ago. It seems to be of little importance. This is just a formality, but...

"Boris Dmitri Borst. You are charged with the... forget it. How do you plead to all of the charges mentioned before?"

Borst is silent for a moment.

"Well?" says the judge impatiently.

"Not guilty." Borst replies, before bursting out into laughter. "You're gonna have to go through and prove every one of those charges you fat wanker!" he cries, before coming close to pissing himself with laughter.

"MR BORST!" the judge bellows. Borst quickly stops laughing and wipes the tears of... er, joy from his eyes. "OK, OK, OK." he says. "Guilty. To it all."

"Mr Borst. Taking into consideration the lengthily list of charges, I have no choice but to sentence you to... life imprisonment."

"Cheers fuckhead." Borst says.

The judge slams his hammer down, as the Sunday Show suddenly comes to a close. A faint scream in the background can be heard upon the hammers impact...

"Who cares? I'm more famous than Hogan!"

BANG!





Credits
Tommy: Not to be censored, Match 4.
Steve: Opening, How do you plead?1, How do you plead?2.
Joe: Give you the title? Scared? Have the title, Match 1, Match 2, Match 3.






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Asylum Owner - Joe Campbell


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