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OPENING
Callous – “Hello and welcome to Asylums BIGGEST yearly Pay Per View…Fight Hell!”
JPP - "Allo my chums, yes...it is ze glorious time of ze year, not ze Christmas, not ze Easter...but ze fight hell!"
Callous - "Yep, I couldn't have made it seem and more girly if i'd come out wearing a dress, anyway...enough of him, tonight is going to be the biggest Asylum night of the year, We'll see Chris Credible face Hypnosis, a six man match for the T.V. title number one contendership!"
JPP - "Oui, and ze Dark, e' will be taking on my fellow countryman Xearo...but I do not trust im', for e' is a filthy peasant!"
Callous - "Riiiight, anyway...also, Pretty Fly will take on the GD6K, for a chance to fight for the team titles, Nayomi Dangsta takes on Angel Rock, for a chance at the womens title..."
JPP - "Oui, tonight iz about ze titles!"
Callous - "That, and hatred, tonight will see Tommy Gunn take on his brothers, a four way match for the womens title, the team titles on the line, the booking rights on the line...and the ASYLUM CHAMPIONSHIP on the line! Anything else?"
JPP - "Nakedness?"
Callous - "In your dreams, frenchie."
JPP – “Oui…I would make up a good reply , but ze show is already underway…to ze backstage!”
Hypnosis is preparing for his match with Credible, with Rasheed Thompson in the locker room with him, who is talking to Ty about how he feels, being back in England.
Rasheed: Man, is it like you remember it?
Hypnosis: It’s cold, it’s cloudy, and nobody gives a fuck about anyone else.
Rasheed: That bad, huh?
Hypnosis: Bad? Man, I’m glad to be home! All that false shit in the states was starting to piss me off anyway, with their have a nice day, and the smiling, AND THE SMILING!!! At least if you piss someone off here, they tell you where to go stick it.
Rasheed: Where the sun don’t shine!
Hypnosis: I think you’re forgetting we’re in Manchester. The sun doesn’t shine anywhere! Well at least it’s better than that sorry excuse of a country, Scotland. It just rests on top of England, and is full of fuck ups, that wear dresses and eat sheep guts and…
During this “tyrade”, Hypnosis doesn’t notice that Tommy Gunn, who was walking past, has stopped at the locker room door, and is glaring at Hypnosis, who is still continuously badmouthing Scotland
… And they think that the bagpipes are a form of music, and man, have you seen the women up there! If you can call them women!
Tommy Gunn coughs.
Hypnosis looks up.
Tommy Gunn coughs again.
Hypnosis: What, you want a fucking cough sweet or something?
Rasheed starts laughing which starts Ty off as well, but Tommy Gunn ends the laughter quickly, by suddenly snapping, and bursting into the room, grabbing Rasheed and delivering The Recoil. Hypnosis gets up to attack Tommy Gunn, who just explodes at him with The Gunnshot. Tommy Gunn spits on Hypnosis who is writhing in pain, and walks out, leaving Rasheed Thompson unconscious, and Hypnosis with seconds to go till his match.
HYPNOSIS VS CHRIS CREDIBLE
"Stupify (Little Nicky Remix)" by Disturbed plays and Chris Credible enters Manchester’s arena to a rousing ovation, as Fight.Hell.I prepares for its first fight to get underway.
Credible: Yeah Suckaz!
The crowd cheer mildly.
Credible: Come on don’t play me like that!
Some of the crowd cheer maniacally. You can hear a few mild chuckles, and can see a lot of confused faces.
Credible: I bee’s one of Da Westside Suckaz, and I came here to prove me a point, that I aint a busta that needs da GFK wit me to win my matches… and my peeps don’t even give me the props I deserve. Come on! SUCKAZ GOTS TA KNOW
Absolute silence. Except for the muttering of an idiot in the third row, asking his mate if this guy is speaking Mongolian.
“Words and Weapons” by D-12 plays and the place erupts… with cheers.
Hypnosis comes out and puts an end to this interlingual incident, which could happen between anyone and Chris Credible, never mind an arena full of Mancunians.
Hypnosis is holding his ribs from earlier, and there is no sign of Rasheed Thompson. Hypnosis raises the mic to his mouth, with an angry look on his face, but he cant get anything out, as the crowd erupt in cheers once again. When the crowd finally calms down, the look of anger has gone from Hypnosis’ face, and is replaced with a wry smile. It’s the first time he’s smiled at a crowd reaction in a positive way in a long time.
Hypnosis: That twat, Tommy Gunn, went and overstepped the mark here tonight, he went and took me out in the backstage, and that’s just not how it’s done here in the UK is it?
The crowd scream no.
Here in England we attack from the front, no matter what’s going on, and we do it blatantly, right?
The crowd scream yeah.
Hypnosis loves having the crowd in the palm of his hand, and you can see the broad smile across his face.
Hypnosis: So Tommy Gunn, I’m challenging you after, this match, at next Sunday’s Show, to a UK title shot, if you’ve still got it after tonight. If ya don’t…
The crowd start to murmur in anticipation…
… I’ll kick your arse anyway!
The crowd erupt, but they brought back down to silence as Credible picks up the mic.
Credible: So I guess this makes this match a number one contenders match for the UK title.
Hypnosis: Yeah. And it also makes this just one more reason for me to beat you into a pulp.
Hypnosis runs down to the Asylum, visibly slower, because of the attack earlier by Tommy Gunn. Hypnosis opens the cell door and walks in, before laying into Credible with a flurry of right and lefts to the head. The crowd try and count along, but its too quick as Credible falls to the floor.
Hypnosis milking the opportunity to be loved by the fans turns round and raises his arms in the air, but Credible, almost immediately gets back to shi feet.
Hypnosis turns round and floors Credible with a hard clothesline, and this time instead of gloating, he stomps on Credible a few times, before standing back, to remarkably see Chris Credible rush back to his feet, albeit this time a little more groggy. Hypnosis realises that Credible is a lot tougher than he took him for, and rushes in for seemingly a spear, which Credible sidesteps, which beings a big grin to his face, that was wiped out seconds later when Hypnosis crashes into Credible’s back, as Hypnosis had jumped off the cell wall, and propelled himself with a spear to Credible’s back.
Hypnosis senses he could win the match now and goes to lock on the Hypnotiser, but Credible kicks Hypnosis in the face, and the low blows him. The crowd boo, as Credible looks around shocked, having not been booed by a crowd fro ages. Credible forgets about it and runs behind Hypnosis and bulldogs him, and not letting go he executes a second bulldog, then letting Hypnosis go when he is standing up, Credible launches himself off the cell wall for a flying bulldog. A move that he calls “The Masterpiece”, but Hypnosis knew about this move and had it well scouted, because on the last bulldog, Hypnosis pushes Credible off, propelling him into the cell wall.
Both fighters are down, but not out, as the ref reaches a 7 count, before Hypnosis gets a sudden adrenaline rush and bursts to life. He runs at Credible, driving his knee into his back. Credible leans back and Hypnosis capitalises with a reverse DDT. Hypnosis rolls Credible over and locks on the Hypnotiser.
Credible struggles in Hypnosis’ grips until he cant take any more pain… but he doesn’t tap. The referee is about to check Credible’s arms, when Tommy Gunn comes roaring out from the back, with a black lead pipe in his hand. He crashes it down on the top of Hypnosis’ head, who crumples in a heap on top of Credible.
Tommy Gunn slowly walks up the ramp as “Change”, plays, he walks, with a purpose, wanting to hear the 10 count go down.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT! (Movement on the part of Hypnosis)
NINE! (Hypnosis grabs the cell wall, and with one final burst of energy, propels him into the air so at…)
TEN! (Hypnosis is on both his feet, and is proclaimed the winner.)
“Change” by Deftnes is replaced with “Words are Weapons” by D-12, as Tommy Gunn spins round, disgusted that his attack didn’t keep Hypnosis down. Hypnosis has his back turned on Tommy Gunn as the referee helps him stay up, but Tommy Gunn plants a chap shot to he back of Hypnosis’ knee. When Hypnosis is down he lands one more shot right to the kneecap, and the drags the screaming Hypnosis to the door. Tommy places one of Ty’s legs outside the cell, and with all his might swings the door closed on Ty’s leg. Ty blots upright for a second, roaring in pain, before passing out.
Ty is officially the number one contender to the UK Title if Tommy Gunn is holding the belt, but he is not fit state to take up the challenge. He can’t even walk.
WINNER: HYPNOSIS VIA KNOCKOUT
CHRIS TITAN VS CHAOS VS EVOLUTION VS KION SATSU VS RUST VS SANJURO
T.V. TITLE CONTENDERSHIP
JPP – “Well, Hypnosis is supposed to be ze number one contender…but iz leg looks fecked!”
Callous – “Well, a good start to the show, but up now, the six man elimination style match for a shot at the T.V. title!”
The drumbeats of “Down With the Sickness” by Disturbed slowly rumble through the arena, before a large pyrotechnic explosion send the crowd into frenzy, Chris Titan makes his way down to the Asylum to a great response from the crowd in attendance.
JPP – “Well, zere’ is Titan, surely one of ze favourites in zis one!”
No sooner had Titan reached the Asylum, “Devils Dance” by Metallica blasted through the speakers, and Chaos rushed down to the Asylum, there was no waiting, as Titan and Chaos roared into each other with hard rights and lefts!
Callous – “No holding back here…we don’t even have all of the fighters, and the match has begun!”
Titan and Chaos continued their exchange, and as they did, they failed to hear "Judith" by A Perfect Circle blasting through the speakers, failing to hear it, they also failed to hear a swift chair shot approaching.
CRACK!
Evolution was on the scene, swinging a chair shot which cannoned off both Chaos and Titan’s skulls at the same time, both men fell to the ground, and rolled away, Evolution took a moment to think, but little had he realised…he didn’t have a moment, as Kion Satsu appeared from nowhere, snatching the chair from his hands, and cracking it over his skull! Kion turned, and was met instantly by Rust, who dropkicked the chair into his face!
Callous – “This is one hundred mile per hour stuff!”
JPP – “Oui…look, Sanjuro!”
Rust got to his feet, but was caught on the chin by a Sanjuro superkick, Sanjuro had just arrived on the scene, but no sooner had he landed his Superkick, he was caught by Chris Titan! Titan hit Sanjuro with a wicked spear, knocking him to the ground, Rust and Kion were now brawling furiously, as were Chaos and Evolution!
Callous – “At this rate…things will be over on five minutes!”
The crowd roared in shock, as Chris Titan lifted Sanjuro up onto his shoulders, to give him “Titanium”! However, Sanjuro squirmed free, and as he dropped, caught Titan’s neck, bringing him down with a Katana Cutter! At the other side of the Asylum, Rust hoisted up Kion, before giving him an airplane spin and dropping him into a death valley driver! Chaos meanwhile was having a hard time, as Evolution stomped him into the mesh, Chaos caught Evolution with a low blow, and leapt onto the mesh, before mounting the rim of the Asylum, and leaping off, attempting to his Evolution with a Shooting Start DDT! However, as he completed the shooting star, Evolution lunged forth, catching him with a spear!
Callous – “Wow, amazing stuff there by Evolution and Chaos!”
Titan was now also coming under the cosh, as Sanjuro pounded him about the head, the crowd wen’t wild at other occurances however, as Kion Satsu reacher over the edge of the Asylum, and dragged in not one, but two tables, which had presumably been left for the coming matches, Kion picked up one table, and swung it, decking Evolution from behind with it, he then took one side, as did Rust, and the two ran, Chris Titan ducked the horizontally moving table, but Chaos didn’t!
CRACK!
The table broke in half around Chaos! Chaos fell to the mat, as Rust and Kion, the two attackers, once again turned on each other! Rust and Kion viciously brawled, before each of them became entangled in a struggle to throw the other out of the Asylum!
Chris Titan!
Callous – “Titan! Titan just spilled Rust and Kion out!”
Titan rushed up behind the two, eliminating them both by quickly pusing them out of the Asylum, Rust and Kion didn’t seem to care however, brawling at Asylum-side…and then up the isle, then through the curtain!
JPP – “Well, ze’re are only four men left now!”
Titan and Evolution began to brawl again, as Sanjuro and Chaos took it to each other, Evolution went to pick Titan up, and drop him face first against the mesh, but Titan swung the momentum, underhooking Evolutions arms and planting him face first with a double arm DDT! As this happened, Chaos clambered onto the Asylum mesh, looking to catch out a downed Sanjuro, however, Sanjuro was merely playing possum, and reached up, clipping Chaos’ foot, and crotching him on the Asylum rim!
JPP – “Ouch!”
Titan meanwhile continued to batter down Evolution, however, when Sanjuro hoisted Chaos onto his shoulders…the spontaneous side of Titan got the better of him, Titan ran, vaulting off the crouching and beaten down Evolution, and spearing Chaos off Sanjuro’s shoulders.
Callous – “Holy shit!”
Titan and Chaos flew over the Asylum rim, CLANK! THUD! SMASH! The two tumbled down the steel steps and lay motionless on the outside, only Evolution and Sanjuro remained! Sanjuro ran as soon as Chaos left his shoulders, and caught Evolution with a dropkick to the face! Evolution lay out, as Sanjuro lifted the only remaining table, and set it up dead center in the Asylum, he grabbed Evolution by the hair, and rolled him onto it, before stepping up himself, and confusingly locking Evolution into a dragon sleeper!
Callous – “Er…he put Evolution up the to make him submit!?”
Suddenly, Evolution struck with an amazing counted, he flipped back, over Sanjuro’s head, locking in a dragon sleeper of his own! There was a pause as Evolution kept the sleeper locked on in a standing position!
JPP – “Wait a minute!”
Callous – “Darwin's Theory!”
Darwin’s theory, down through the table went Sanjuro! Evolution remained motionless on the mat, before jerking up, the referee making the count.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10!
Callous – “Ten! Evolution is the number one contender!”
JPP – “Oui…what a match!”
Callous – “Indeed, and as the officials clear the ring here, we’ll be back after the break with Xearo taking on Dark!”
WINNER: EVOLUTION VIA KNOCKOUT
DARK VS XEARO L'VAGRANT
Transmission third world war third round
A decade of the weapon of sound above ground
No shelter if youre looking for shade
I lick shots at the brutal charade
As the polls close like a casket
On truth devoured
Silent play in the shadow of power
A spectacle monopolized
The cameras eyes on choice disguised
Was it cast for the mass who burn and toil?
Or for the vultures who thirst for blood and oil?
Yes a spectacle monopolized They hold the reins, stole your eyes
All the fistagons the bullets and bombs
Who stuff the banks Who staff the party ranks
More for Gore or the son of a drug lord
None of the above fuck it cut the cord
Lights out, Guerilla Radio. Turn that shit up.
Lights out, Guerilla Radio. Turn that shit up
Lights out, Guerilla Radio. Turn that shit up
Lights out Guerilla Radio...
Dark entered to "Guerilla Radio" By Rage Against the Machine...smiling to a jeering crowd. His stride was cocky and he was confident. After all how could this little inferior upstart ever beat the
ICON? He wrestled all over the planet and mopping the floor with some retard, pissant mute should be a fucking cake walk.
Shouldn't it?
"...Moderate Rock..."
May day, every day, my day
Could've had a heart attack, my heart
We don't know anything, my heart.
We all want something fair, my heart.
Hey!
Hey!
Heyyyyyyy! Heyyyyy! Heyyyyy!
Out of town, out of fire, is my heart.
Queen of lies, today, my heart
One more on the phone, my heart
One more at the door of my heart.
Hey!
Hey!
Heyyyyyyyyyyy!
Mean heart, cold heart, cold heart, cold heart
Cold heart, cold heart, cold heart, cold heart -- uhhhhhhh!
Xearo entered as silent as ever with hardly any expression on his face.
"Tourette's" By Nirvana played loudly over the PA as the crowds reaction was very mixed; they probably expected a low-mid card crap fest. Xearo's sudden smirk as he hopped the railing, entering the asylum...said otherwise.
Callous - "Well Jean-Paul, who's your favourite in this one?"
JPP - "Dark...ze Xearo, e' is dirty...plus I don't sink e' is really french, non?"
The music died down as both men came face to face. Dark was talking and talking and Xearo was just smiling a fierce smile.
Disgusting.
Is the only way to describe Dark's action. Dark gargled and spit a loggie in Xearo's face!! The saliva slowly wormed it's way down Xearo's left cheek as
the mute's smile turned into a frown. The crowd began booing and laughing at the same time. There was no mistaking it...
Xearo is a pussy.
Dark turned his back and basked in the laughter and jeering.
Smack!
That put an end to all boasting as Xearo nearly beheaded Dark with a left roundhouse kick to the side of his face. As Dark grabbed the side of his head and Xearo followed through with a right roundhouse to the ribs, followed by another and left roundhouse to Dark's other unprotected ribs. Dark turned around only to catch a 1-2 sidekick combination to the mid-section and face...
Callous - "Well, good start here by both men..."
Dark reels back definatly a bit more wary. Xearo dances around Dark a bit and decides to charge in...
...mistake.
Dark moves out of the way and assists Xearo's charge...into the wire mesh. Dark sees his chance! As Xearo gets to his feet Dark clubs Xearo in the back
of his neck with a lethal forearm. Dark follows that up with several hard rights into the back Xearo's head. Xearo turns around only to catch some Tajiri-style stiff chops to the neck. Dark then grabs Xearo by the throat and begins choking the hell out of him...trying to force him out the ring....
JPP - "Zis could be it...zis' will teach ze scummie to speak iz' real language, non!?"
Xearo would have none of it as he too grabbed Dark's neck and both men were strangling each other. Xearo then began to head butt Dark....Hard. The sounds of skulls crashing together nearly silenced the crowd as both men fell to the mat. The ref began to count, but it wasn't long before Xearo started to get to his feet. Xearo lowered his fighting position waiting for Dark to get to his...
Dark did and kicked at Xearo only to get his legged hooked...then Xearo introduced Dark to his Rolling Capture Suplexes. Xearo reeled back sending Dark crashing to the mat. He hooked him again and lifted his whole body up into another Capture suplex. Xearo did this twice more as the crowd counted off every one. The crowd was on their feet at this point cheering Xearo on...The ref counted...
1
2
3
4
5
Dark slowly got to his feet again. Xearo charged in...
And caught a haymaker to the grion. Xearo dropped to the ground in severe pain as Dark laughed. If Xearo could scream, he would have...then again maybe not...
As Dark began sending stiff kicks into Xearo's face!! Crack!! Another kick to Xearo's face!! Dark was fuming as he pulled a reluctant Xearo to his feet...and intoduced him to "Dark Driver I" or what's common known as the Vertabreaker. Whatever the case Xearo was now hanging upsidedown suspended by Dark's arms as Dark jumped up and dropped down driving Xearo's upper-back and neck into the mat!!
Callous - "Wow! Could have broken Xearo's neck there!"
Dark wasn't done.
Dark pulls Xearo to his feet yet again and executes a perfect Gargoyole Suplex. Sending Xearo crashing down onto mat, yet again. Xearo gets to his feet and looks up too late as dark swings over and catches Xearo in a
tornado DDT! Dark pulls Xearo to his feet and whips him into the wire mesh. Xearo is in sitting position as Dark backs off a bit...Dark spit toward Xearo again and executes a perfect flying dropkick into Xearo's chest against the mesh!!
JPP - "Ouch, right in ze breasts!"
Callous - "Breasts?"
JPP - "Erm...oui"
Dark backs off laughing...letting Xearo get to his feet using the rail of the mesh for support facing the crowd. Dark slaps his hand to his leg motioning for a superkick to Xearo, hopefully to cause a ring out...Dark charges Xearo and...
Xearo is airborn! The crowds gasps and even Dark had to pause...
As Xearo did a handstand on the wire mesh!! The newly aquired fans of Xearo begin clapping as Xearo twists himself around so that he's facing the crowd...Dark presses on with attack only to have Xearo come down the top of Dark's head with a single leg axe kick!! Dark grabs the top of his head and drop right to the mat as round of "Holy shit" chants start up. Xearo smugly leans against the railing with his arms crossed...
The ref counts..
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Dark is up!! Dark is up...Xearo seems a bit annoyed as he pulls off his shirt. The crowds gasps and begins cheering as Xearo reveals a blood red skull tattoo on his right shoulder blade. Xearo begins a typical Tae kwon do front stance as Dark get up...Xearo rushes in and lights into Dark with kicks all over the place. Smack!! To the side of the face! The thighs
and ribs and an outside crescent kick to Dark's jaw! Xearo ends it with a front kick to Dark's groin!!
Xearo smiles nice and wide.
Revenge was sweet.
Dark finally composed himself and launched a two-punch combo on Xearo. The first one hit Xearo square in the chin but Xearo ducked the second and slid up behind Dark lifting him into a Reverse-DVD position....Xearo was set to finish Dark off. Xearo spins Dark around and send his neck spiraling onto his shoulder as Xearo quickly dropped down to a sitting position with a float over hanging neck breaker.... executing the "Wind of Amnesiac".
It was over...
or was it?
The crowd, the ref and everyone was in a state of confusion as Xearo pulls an exhausted Dark to his feet again.
Callous - "What's Xearo doing!? He had it won!"
Xearo decided that...it wasn't enough. After being humiliated. After being Battered and Beaten. After being laughed at and spit on...Xearo couldn't quit. His face was twisted in such a way that his eyes almost seemed to be swirling with tearful anger as he remembered...everything that happened.
The ref tried to stop this but was pushed away and landed hard on the mat...
The crowd was still confused...Xearo backed off a bit as Dark weakly swung another fist. Xearo easily dodged it and moved in for the kill. Xearo charges Dark in spear-like fashion and locks his arms around Dark's upper waist. Xearo then quickly sends a couple of knee into his gut, Xearo then lock in a front headlock and sends an elbow into his back, then Xearo endeds the combination by sending Dark head into the mat with a stiff DDT. Xearo hold onto the front head and gets back up...
...another stiff DDT. Xearo gets back up...
...another DDT. Xearo get back up...
...another DDT. Xearo gets to his feet yet again...this time the ref grabs Xearo wrist. The mute snatches away and send a side kick into the ref's jaw!! The crowd cheers as Xearo sends Dark back into the mat with another stiff DDT.
...and another...
...and another...
...and another...
and Xearo stopped.
The crowd began counting, but Xearo was past done...
1
2
3
Xearo grabbed his shirt and draped it over his shoulders...
4
5
6
Xearo hops the railing...
7
8
9
10
Xearo exits.
Callous - "Xeaero wins...fuck...did you see all of those DDT's?"
JPP - "Oui...ze scummie!"
WINNER: XEARO L'VAGRANT VIA KNOCKOUT
HELL BREAKING LOOSE
Callous - "Well, apparently, earlier today, Joe Campbell signed another fighter onto the Asylum roster, an aspiring individual who goes by the name of Noah Reily, or simply -I- as he is known in the ring, currently, Asylum reporters are trying to get ahold of this man, and I believe they've caught up with him backstage!"
The camera's ventured backstage, but they weren't following -I-, but A.D., A.D. wasn't booked for the show tonight, but had apparently showed up to watch the event, however, while making a trip toward the office of Joe Campbell, he saw a face, a familiar figure.
"You?" A.D. said, with an agressive hint in his voice. A.D. squinted, as the man in question looked up, the red hair was a telltale reminder, but as his eyes met with A.D.'s, A.D. was certain.
"YOU!"
The recognisation was mutual, as the man which A.D. was looking at, was -I-, and the man -I- had sought, was A.D., no more words were exchanged, only fists...A.D. and -I- began to lash into each other relentlessly with rights and lefts that saw any fans on the corridor scatter for their own safety!
SMASH!
A.D.'s back smashed through the glass of a fire extinguisher case, he pushed -I- back, the two of them tussled, before falling onto a stack of light rigging poles, the polls rolled as the two men tussled, still throwing hard fists at every oppertunity.
CRACK!
CRACK!
Griff Truxell.
Griff had watched every moment of the fight, and had waited for A.D., his enemy, and the man he didn't know, to be at their weakest point, on the ground. Griff swooped in with a chair, cracking it over A.D.'s head, and then hitting -I- simply because he was there.
At this point, security arrived, snatching the chair from Griff and pulling him away, A.D. and -I- got to their feet dazed...and began to fight again! The fight was cut short this time however, as security seperated the two, dragging them in opposite directions down the corridors as the show went back to ringside.
PRETTY FLY VS GD6K
TEAM TITLES CONTENDERSHIP
The camera goes to ringside for the match between Pretty Fly, Nate and Steve-O, vrs Galaxy Defenders 6000. The F.H.I song is blasting in the background but is replaced by GD6K’s entrance music, "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down. Out come Super Hero and Impetigo, they make their way to the Asylum. They get in and wait for Pretty Fly.
The words No DQ flash on the screen, the match could go anywhere, anything goes in a match such as this. Two teams that want to be Team Champions so bad had to win this, this was the biggest event in the history of Asylum and the team that one would definitely be etched in history. This was a big stepping stone, if you didn’t win this, no Team Title shit… meaning no chance at the titles.
The arena goes dim as baby blue spotlights flash over the arena. "Pretty Fly (For a white guy)" by The Offspring plays as Nate and Steve, Pretty Fly, appear in front of the big entrance set. Just then, Steve-O runs aback around the entrance, and then Nate follows. Moments later they return with two large ‘Pretty Fly’ surf boards. They walk down to the Asylum and lay them on the outside. They step in and the referee waits for the bell to ring… Ding Ding Ding!
Nate and Super Hero lock up, but Nate is slammed back hard by Super Hero who then sends hard jabbing kicks to the ribcage of Nate. He grabs him by the hair and drives a fist into the forehead of the ‘leader’ of Pretty Fly. Super Hero tackles Nate down, mounts him, and send some fury punches to the head of Nate. Nate rolls him over and sends some rights to the skull of Super Hero.
Over on the other side of the Asylum, Impetigo ducks under an attempted lock up with Steve-O and knocks him to the Asylum canvas via Drop Kick to the head. But it didn’t keep him down long, Impetigo runs at Steve-O but is taken off his feet with a swift arm drag take over. But he is up again, to no avail, Steve-O takes him down again with an arm drag- this time into an arm bar submission.
Super Hero finally pushes Nate off of him, and both men get to their feet. Kick to the mid section by Nate, and a knife edge chop! Another! Another! Super Hero rakes the eyes, and gets him up into a coop slam position. He charges with Nate in his arms, slamming Nate’s hurt body into the steel mesh wall of the Asylum. But yet, he doesn’t let go, he charges once again, Nate’s body is taken with pain as it strikes against the cold steel. Super Hero finishes the barage of attacks with a picture perfect fall away slam, landing Nate hard on his side and arm.
Two left jabs by Impetigo to Steve-O, causing him to fall back against the Asylum wall, his arms strung over it. Impetigo back steps before running full on towards Steve-O, out of no where he lifts his arms and over the railing of the wall and back body drops Impetigo up and out of the Asylum to the hard floor below. A hurt Impetigo just lays there motionless.
Seeing that his brother, Nate, was getting the wrong end of a brutal beating by Super Hero who is now stomping away on him. Steve-O runs, jumps, and Super Hero turns and walks right into a sharp spear to the gut. After helping his brother up, Nate and Steve-O set Super Hero up for what looks to be a vertical suplex. They bring him up right, but instead of falling back they falls forward and Super Hero is strung over the Asylum wall.
While all this was happening Impetigo was over at the Announcers Table grabbing a chair. Nate and Steve-O celebrate with a bunch of high fives and ‘Dude, we so rock on!’. Impetigo hops over into the Asylum, sneaking up behind the dynamic Duo of Pretty Fly he taps Steve-O on the back. He turns around and a loud, ‘CRACK!’ sound is hear throughout the arena as the steel folding chair wraps around the head of Steve-O. Steve-O is launched out of the Asylum. Nate turns around, but ‘ducks’ the chair shot , kicks Impetigo in the gut and goes for what looks to be a Diamond Cutter. The fans give a loud ‘Aw’ in hopes that Nate would hit it but Impetigo pushes Nate face first into the Asylum wall. Nate back steps, still very daze, Impetigo locks him around the waist.
A shot of Super Hero and Steve-O laying on the outside is seen. We go back to the action in the ring and see Impetigo is about to go for a German Suplexe. Still with his arms locked around Nate’s waist he back steps just enough so that Nate can reach the dented steel chair bellow. Nate tries to hide that he has the chair in his grasp for a moment but as so as he felt Impetigo try and hit the move Nate swung the chair back over his head- striking Impetigo. Nate turns around to see Impetigo on the Asylum canvas holding his head.
Finally on the outside both men start moving. Super Hero tries for a running double axe handle but Steve-O flap jacks him onto the Asylum steps face first. The crowd gives out a ‘Ah!’ as the sickening crack of Super Hero’s face echoes off the arena walls. It didn’t keep him down long, when Steve-O attempts a lock up Super Hero whips him into the steel guard rail, his shoulder blade strikes first. He walks over to Steve-O who is holing his shoulder blade and just starts ramming him in the upper body and face with his knee.
Inside the ring Nate runs, spring boards off the Asylum wall and hits Super Hero with a flipping suicide dive! All three men are in a lot of pain. Impetigo starts to recover from that blasting chair shot. He falls against the Asylum all, the only thing holding him up. He walks to the over side and hops over. Venturing over to the Time Keeper’s table he grabs the ring bell and hammer. With that, he heads over to where Super Hero, Nate, and Steve-O are. He yells for one Nate or Steve-O to get up, Nate is the first to move, but the Super Hero stands up behind him and grabs him by the arms giving his partner a clear shot with the ring bell. The fans are in a frenzy as they think Nate with move like they see in a lot of fake wrestling promotions, but that was not the case. Nate struggles but in the end gets a face full of solid metal.
GD6K look under the Asylum for some more weapons, the pull out a ladder, some cookie sheets, four garbage cans, a mop, and yet Another ladder. The throw/place all those things in the Asylum and then go back and drag a lifeless Nate into the Asylum, leaving Steve-O behind. They place a garbage can over the head of Nate and stand him up. He just about loses his balance but doesn’t. With the garbage can place over the top of Nate the window back and…drop kick! Double drop kick to the trash can over Nate’s head. Nate’s body goes right limp and collapses to the floor. They rip the crushed garbage can off of Nate. Then they signal for their finisher the Heroic Treatment. Super Hero hoists Nate up on his shoulder while Impetigo stands on the ring of the Asylum…
Impetigo comes off and hitting with a somersault and completing their finisher. Nate doesn’t seem to be moving at all and both members of the Galaxy Defenders 6000 back away to let the referee start the KO Count…
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Surprising the crowd Nate actually makes it to his feet. Steve-O leaps over the railing before GD6K can do anymore damage to him, he runs- double clothesline to both guys! He helps Nate up…Suddenly Nate pushes Steve-O! The fans go crazy as they know what is coming…
"Dude!" Nate yells, the fans are coming out of their seats!
"What?!" Steve-O replies… The fans get ready for it…
"Surfs Up!" Nate and almost everyone in the arena screams!
"Tubular!" Steve-O shouts and both him and Nate leave the Asylum and grab the surf boards that were laying on the outside. They place them in the Asylum. Steve-O props his up on an angle against the Asylum and Nate just drops his for later. Almost like clock work Super Hero is up, he turns and walks right into Steve-O who lifts him up, elevating him like D-Von does for the 3D… Nate runs toward him…the fans are going nuts… Nate leaps in the air… And catches him with the bulldog and drives Super Hero’s head through the propped up. They had just hit the ‘Surfs Up’ through the surf board. The fans start chanting. The let the referee administer the KO Count…
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Impetigo jumps up and tackles the referee… the fans can’t believe how great this match is. They go crazy as the count is broken. Steve-O and Impetigo square off, Impetigo takes Steve-O down via Single Arm DDT! Nate goes for one of his trademark moves, the super kick! But Impetigo catches his right leg, spins him around and hits him hard with an Inverted DDT! All four men are exhausted and just lay there in the Asylum for a minute. The referee starts the mandatory Count…
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Super Hero and Impetigo are up! But Nate and Steve-O are still struggling…
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Nate leaps against the Asylum rim and holds him self up… Steve-O is still down, and if he doesn’t get up within the ten count then Pretty Fly loses.
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Steve-O makes it up! With every once of strength left in his body and stands up and breaks the referee’s count! Impetigo sets up a ladder in the centre of the Asylum, Steve-O and Nate set the other ladder up beside the Super Hero starts to climb the ladder, no one knows why, but Nate grabs the mop brings it back… crack! He snaps it over the back of Super Hero, but he doesn’t fall over. Since both Pretty Fly team mates are turned away, Impetigo grabs a grabage can and chucks it full force. It dents over the head of Steve-O and he falls right straight backward. Impetigo picks up another, thinking to chuck it at Nate but Nate runs, jumps, lands on the fourth rung of the ladder beside the one Super Hero is climbing, and in a fluid motion leaps off and hits Impetigo with a flying cross body press!
After e moment of recovery from the garbage can blow to the head. Steve-O is up. He clicmbs up the same ladder, and the same side as Super Hero. He locks him around the waist. They are all the way up at the top. He locks Super Hero around the waist…a hush came over the crowd and Steve-O Super German Suplexed Super Hero off the top of the ladder. They both hit hard! Their body’s scattered.
Nate and Impetigo were up again. Nate went for a right hook but Impetigo ducks it, looked both arms in back, and started pinning around until he slamed him to the ground, hitting a Air Plane Spin slam that made the crowd get wild yet again. Impetigo wallk over and pulled Steve-O to his feet. Steve-O out of no where punches Impetigo in the gut- snap suplex! No… Impetigo blocks it and snap suplex’s Steve-O onto the garbage can that hit him earlier.
Nate crawls over to the other Surf Board. Steve-O gets up, slowly thought because his back is and kidney area are burning with pain. He meets Nate over on the other side. They both take an end of the surfboard and charge at Impetigo and SuperHero who are standing side by side. Their faces meet with the Surf Board and they shoot back . They roll around for a minute holding their heads.
Pretty Fly drop the surf board and the two ladders so that the rungs are facing one another. The then grab the unbroken surf board and place one end of the surf board on the right ladders 6th rung and the over end of the surfboard on the left ladder’s 6th rung. Then Nate leave sthe ring and pulls on a huge carpenter’s ladder, place sit in the Asylum and sets it up so that the front set of rungs are facing the horizontal laying surfboard. Steve-O then grabs yet another ladder from under the Asylum! Yet only a normal size one. He places it in the ring and sets it up like Nate did his. Both Impetigo and Super Hero are up. Suddenly a huge brawl breaks out as the two teams just start throwing rapid punches at one another!
People start hitting the ground but get up fast but then are knocked down again. The fight spills out of the Asylum and near the Commentary arena. Super Hero and Nate pair off- Super Hero slams Nate head into the table the Nate slams Super Hero’s head into the table.
Impetigo and Steve-O are over near the English Announce Table. Steve-O flips the covering of the table off and grabs a monitor. He hits Impetigo once so that he lays back on the table with his feet dangling off. Steve-O walks away then bursts out and runs, he jumps in the air and tries for some flash type manoeuvre with the Monitor but Impetigo rolls off and Steve-O goes right through the Announce table!
Over with Nate and Super Hero their was really no one winning, just random hits but Impetigo made his way over and changed all that. He stops Nate from the back and forth fight and hits him with an elbow to the back of the head. The turn him around and set him up for a double power bomb through the table. Impetigo gets him on his shoulder and Super Hero jumps and pulls him down- Nate reverses it into a twisting hurricanrunna this time putting Impetigo through the table. Super Hero attacks Nate while he is getting up and sets him up for a piledriver! Nate back body drops him over but Super Hero lands on his feet. Nate turns… Clothesline by Superhero! No! Nate ducks it- overhead belly to belly suplex from Nate.
Nate gets an idea, he walks over grabs a chair, and sets it up as if he is going to leap off of it. But Nate has different plan, he runs, hops over Super Hero, jumps and springboards off the chair and hits his finisher on Super Hero- the ‘Fly Boy’ A.K.A Lionsault! Nate chucks Super Hero back in the Asylum… A double screen shows Steve-O and Impetigo crawling out of the two broken annoucne tables and into the Asylum.
All four men are in the ring… Steve-O kicks Impetigo in the gut, puts his head between his legs and…Wave Breaker (Sit Down Pedigree)! The fans go wild as this match had been a show stealer; hard core, technical, high flying… Impetigo was surely out cold. Steve-O placed Impetigo on the surfboard the was up sixth rungs of the two ladders. Steve-O then hjoined his brother Nate in the fight with Super Hero… They easily out teamed and both Pretty Fly members hit Super Hero at the same time with two cookie sheets. They placed Super Hero onto of Impetigo on the surfboard.
The fans knew this was it…it was going to get extreme! Nate climbed up the carpenter ladderand stood at the top as Steve-O climbed to the top of the over one. The structure of Four Ladders and a Surf Board looked right to fall. Nate yells out, "Lets pump this muscle tranny!" and Steve-O yells…"Sweet!"… Suddenly they both leap off the ladders at the same time hoping to hit Super Hero and Impetigo… Nate flew through the air performing a Swanton Bomb and Steve-O went for a double leg drop… the crowd was silent until…
CRASH!!!!!
Nate and Steve-O both hit Super Hero and Impetigo. All four men broke trhough the hard thick surf board and sialed to the ground bellow. All the ladders and broken pieces of the board flew down on top of the four, beaten, sore, tired, and badly bloody men! It looked like a car wreck and you couldn’t even see the four guys with everything on top. The fans start to chant…"Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!". It hurt Nate and Steve-O just as much as it did Super Hero and Impetigo… the referee as no choice but to make the KO Count…
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10!!!!!! The fans couldn’t believe it… a draw!!!!!! None of the guys moved as the EMTs made their way to the ring to help Pretty Fly and GD6K to the back for some well needed medical attention as the referee announces, "That this match is a draw and that both teams are #1 contenders!!!!
WINNER: DRAW
NAYOMI VS ANGEL VASQUEZ
WOMEN'S TITLE CONTENDERSHIP
“In for the Kill" by Skindive begins to play as Angel Vasquez walks out from behind the curtain and down the rampway towards the ring. She leaps over the cage and waits for her opponent. Independent Women by Destiny's Child plays as Nayomi Dangsta walks out as she stares a hole through Angel. Nayomi walks close to the cage then hops over it as Angel quickly charged her. Nayomi ducks the quick clothesline attempt by Angel. Nayomi with a few quick stinging punches to the back and stomach area of Angel as she quickly turns around after the miss, Nayomi with a kick to the stomach followed by a stiff knee to the face of Angel. Nayomi is not wasting any time as she has Angel down she goes to the top of the cage and somersaults off executing the Westside Sunset.
Angel manages to roll out of the way as Nayomi hits the mat. Both women are a little slow to get up but Angel gets up first and spears Nayomi to the mat. Angel gets on top of her and as the fans yell Angel begins to pound away on Nayomi. Angel pulls her up and suplexes her over then rolls with it lifting her up and suplexing her again and rolling again.
Angel lifts Nayomi to the air for the third time and hits a seated front layout suplex for the trifecta. Angel plays it up to the crowd as the cheer the move. Angel then pulls up Nayomi and slams her face first into the cgae. Angel gets some room then charges and goes to slam her butt into Nayomi’s face but she misses and Angel hits the cage.
Nayomi capitalizes with a brain buster on Angel. Nayomi locks in a reverse arm bar but Angel will not quit. Angel manages to move herself and escape the arm bar. Angel gets up shaking her arm as both women begin to slowly circle. They ti up and Angel comes out with a side headlock, Nayomi tries to escape but Angel holds fast. Nayomi out of nowhere grabs a hold of Angel lifting her up plants her with a Blue thunder driver. Nayomi gets up slowly as the ref begins his count..
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Angel is up slowly. Nayomi waits as Angel gets her bearings nayomi charges and nails Angel with a spinning heel kick. Nayomi is quick to get to her feet and lock in an eastern stretch on angel. Angel will not submit and Nayomi releases the hold and kicks Angel square in the back. Angel is hurting as she gets to her feet, Nayomi waits and they tie up, Angel with a back heel trip sends Nayomi down but Nayomi holds on to the tie up and bridges up slowly.
In midbridge Angel simply punts Nayomi in the side of the back as Nayomi crashes to the mat. Angel goes for a tombstone but Nayomi kicks her feet and reverses it but before she can plant Angel swings herself to the side and reverses it yet again and plants Nayomi with a vicious seated tombstone driver as the fans erupt.
Crowd - "Holy Shit!!Holy Shit!!"
Angel makes it to her feet slowly as the ref counts..
1..2..3.4..5..6..7..8.. Nayomi gets up slowly. Angel then picks up Nayomi in a torture rack grabs the right arm of Nayomi and pulls it across her throat before dumping Nayomi in an inverted DVD. The crowd is amazed by these women. Angel gets up and pulls Nayomi to her feet she lifts her in a quick release suplex that Angel turns into a powerbomb. The ref counts yet again..
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8.. Nayomi gets up.
Both women are tired as they slowly walk around the ring staring at each other. They go for a tie-up but Nayomi pulls the fake and drop toe holds Angel to the mat, a quick float over and Nayomi applies a front face lock to angel. Nayomi cinches it in then slowly pulls Angel to her feet, she releases the hold quickly then plants angel with the Widdow Maker.
Callous - "that was a nasty falling chokeslam by Nayomi!"
Th ref begins the count.
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the ref stops his count to flip off the crowd as the begin to bitch about the slow counting.
JPP - "Can e' do zat?"
Callous - "It would appear so!"
Meanwhile Angel as made it to her feet. Nayomi with a charging lariat that misses and as Nayomi turns she gets nailed in the face by a running yakuza kick from Angel as both women collapse. Angel gets up first but looks up at the rampway as Kenny Rock has shown up. Angel turns quickly and grabs a hold of Nayomi and plants her with a double underhook driver. Kenny Rock walks slowly towards the ring with a wicked smile on his face. Angel cannot take her eyes off of him as he walks right up to the cage. Angel reaches out and tries to slap him but misses.
As she is off balance she is then grabbed from behind by Nayomi who kicks her in the stomach and then plants her with a 360 degree spinning powerbomb. Nayomi quickly recovers and locks on the Panther Grip. Angel has no choice but to submit as Nayomi wrenches back on the sharpshooter like hold.
Callous - "This one is over and Nayomi has defeated Angel!"
JPP - "Oui, she iz ze number one contender for ze womens title!"
WINNER: NAYOMI VIA SUBMISSION
TOMMY GUNN© VS JASON GUNN & STEVEN GUNN
U.K. TITLE
Callous – “Well, over the past few months…the Gunn family has had some pretty huge traumatic events, the death of Joey Gunn, and then the death of Joseph Gunn at the hands of Tommy, and now two brothers looking for an explanation.”
JPP – “Oui, or perhaps plain revenge!”
“Bullet in the head” by Rage Against the Machine played, as the crowd in attendance rose to their feet for the arrival of Jason and Steven Gunn! The Gunn’s came out, not quite as pumped as usual for their matches, neither of the two was wearing wrestling attire, but their everyday clothes, as well as a lot of bandaging from the previous Sunday’s attack by their brother, both looked extremely hollow, neither acknowledging the large pop they had received from the fans, as they reached mid-ramp however, they were interrupted.
“Change” by The Deftones played through the arena, and as Jason and Steven turned, they saw someone who they had failed to see the previous Sunday.
Callous – “Tommy Gunn, well, clearly he has no fear of showing his face during this one!”
Tommy stood at the top of the ramp, facing the ground and breathing heavily, he clutched in one hand the lead pipe which he had presumably used the previous week to batter his two brothers, Jason began to run at Tommy, and as Steven saw him do this, he followed.
Callous – “Here we go! The younger Gunn brothers rushing Tommy!”
WHACK!
“Ohhhhhh!”
Tommy crunched through both of his brothers, catching the rushing Jason with a Gunnshot spear, and running him solidly into Steven in the process! All three Gunn’s hit the floor, but it was the raging Tommy who was up first, blasting Steven around the head twice with the lead pipe, before using it to throttle Jason!
Callous “Well, I hate to insinuate it, but if Tommy keeps on like this, he’ll have no brothers left at all by the end of the show!”
Tommy lifted Jason, taking him by the scruff of the neck, and to the amazement of everyone in attendance, throwing him from the ramp, into the crowd! The crowd were silent, as people in the area where Jason landed parted, causing him to hit several steel chairs on the way down!
JPP – “………..Feck!”
Tommy stood for a moment, looking down into the pile of chairs and fans where Jason lay, his moment of silence was interrupted however, as Steven leapt onto his back, desperately trying to choke him! Tommy battled, eventually throwing Steven off, Steven attacked again but was rocked back down the ramp by several punches and kicks from Tommy, which ended with Tommy grabbing him, and running him skull first into the Asylum mesh!
Callous – “This is completely one sided!”
Tommy walked back up the isle, lifting up the lead pipe he had earlier carried with him, Steven rose to his feet, but was soon back down, as Tommy clubbed him across the back of the neck with a hard shot with the pipe!
JPP – “Zis one is already over, and ze match hasn’t even started!”
Tommy threw the pipe into the Asylum, before taking Steven and hurling him onto the announce table! Callous and JPP moved away, as Tommy lifted one of the monitors, and brought it down across the ribs of Steven! Steven roared in agony, as Tommy clambered onto the Asylum announce table, before lifting his prone brother, up into the air, and into Joey Gunn’s infamous “Gunn Rack”. The crowd booed at Tommy Gunn’s imitation of the hold, but then grimaced in agony, as he quickly flipped it, and dropped Steven through the announce table with a death valley driver!
JPP – “Holy Sheet!”
Tommy clambered into the Asylum, took his pipe, and slumped against the Asylum mesh…EMT’s were now arriving at the scene of Steven’s destruction, as a dazed and hurt Jason clambered out from the crowd, before helping his downed brother onto a stretcher, and going after Tommy!
Callous – “Tommy’s in trouble now!”
Jason clambered tentatively into the Asylum, but was amazed, when Tommy Gunn didn’t move, Tommy didn’t even look Jason in the eye, despite the fact that Jason was roaring insults at him, finally, Jason snapped, delivering tens upon tens of kicks to the downed Tommy, around twenty five kicks later, Jason backed away, but his brother simply sat up, his bruised and bleeding face still showing no emotion, Jason rushed in again, but was met by a quick, devastating headbutt to the groin!
Callous – “Fuck…that has to hurt!”
Jason backed away, but was met by a leap pipe shot, and a second…a third…a fourth…a fifth! Tommy battered Jason into a heap on the floor, pipe shot after pipe shot, before finally lifting him up.
Callous – “Recoil!”
JPP – “Eet is over!”
Jason lay flat out on the mat, completely motionless, however, Tommy quickly pulled him up again by the hair, before picking him up, and slumping him halfway out of the Asylum. He took his head, and in one swift motion, the match was over.
CRUNCH!
Callous – “No!!!”
Recoil, across the Asylum rim, Jason’s head snapped back, and he fell, rolling down the ring steps and coming to a halt on the arena floor, “Change” by The Deftones played, and Tommy made the same emotionless exit as he had made his entrance, his brothers…were hurt.
WINNER AND STILL U.K. CHAMPION: TOMMY GUNN VIA RINGOUT
PERSEPHONE VS STEPHANIE CONNOR VS KRYSTAL VS HELA
WOMEN'S TITLE
JPP - "Women time!"
Callous - "And the fighters are already in the Asylum!"
The four women are in the ring, and are all set to begin the match to determine the new women's champion... suddenly, She's So High by Blur begins to play, and the fans go crazy then they see the hometown girl, Zoe Borst making her way down the aisle... with the women's title over her shoulder!
JPP - "ZOE! What iz she doing 'ere?!"
Callous - "That's my girl..."
JPP - "What?"
Callous - "I said the girl is about to speak."
Zoe has the mic in hand, and raises it to her lips.
Zoe - "What gives you girls the right to fight for MY title? The title that I did NOT give up. The title that was NOT stripped from me. Kenny Rock can only book, he can't take titles... so girls, sorry, but you ain't fighting for this title tonight."
Zoe is about turn around and leave, but suddenly stops.
Zoe - "On second thoughts, how about I come in these and kick the shit into you all instead! Lets have this women's title match, but lets make it a four girl and one woman affair!"
Callous - "WOW! We've got a five woman match here!"
JPP - "Kitty fighting! Kitty fighting!"
Callous - "And only one fall is gonna win this thing!"
As soon as the bell rings, all four women suddenly charge at Zoe. Not knowing what to do, Zoe puts her hands over her head, and proceeds to get the snot kicked out of her! The fans boo loudly, as their hometown girl gets quadruple teamed for a while, before Persephone and Krystal pair off, and Steph begins to battle Hela.
Callous - "HEY! No fair! Zoe's is totally out of it already!"
JPP - "Why iz ze ref not counting???"
Callous - "Well I think he would be if he weren't too busy trying to keep track of the other fighters!"
It's the battle of the kicks on one side of the ring, as Persephone and Krystal show their martial arts skills, both attempting to land a kick on one an other. Persephone goes for a low kick to the shins, but Krystal jumps it and lands a kick right in Persephone's jaw!
Callous - "WHOA!"
JPP - "How iz zat... thing still standing!"
Callous - "I've no idea, but she's just clobbered Krystal with a huge forearm shot!"
Meanwhile, Hela and Steph had been battling away. Hela had gotten the advantage with a sidewalk slam that took the air out of Steph, and had been attempting to throw Steph out of the cage since. Hela had Steph draped over the cage, trying to lift her out, hitting hard clubbing blows across Steph's back constantly.
Callous - "How aggressive can you get?!"
JPP - "Zey could start eating others carpet. Zat would be aggressive!"
Callous - "Hey, this isn't hardcore rules Jean-Paul, and just make sure you don't get too excited. Commentating in the nude doesn't leave much to the imagination you know."
JPP - "GOLLY GOSH!"
Callous - "Persephone just whipped Krystal into the cage HARD!"
JPP - "She went head firstz!"
Krystal gets up quickly though, and Persephone charges at her and goes for a clothesline, but Krystal ducks and Persephone crashes into the cage, almost falling out and over.
Callous - "That was close!"
JPP - "But zat wasn't!"
Krystal lands a superkick square on Persephone's manly jaw!
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Persephone begins to stir.
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JPP - "10! 10! 10!"
Callous - "Shut up! Persephone got up!"
Hela is STILL trying to bundle Steph out of the cage, and eventually she's forced to give up when Krystal grabs a handful of Hela's long hair. Krystal yanks her hair, pulling Hela backwards, and hits a hard reverse DDT on her!
Callous - "Steph from behind!"
Steph Connor suddenly hits Krystal with a clothesline, and follows it up by sliding to the mat and locking in a tight front face headlock. She pulls back on the hold for quite some time, before Hela manages to get back up and break the hold.
Callous - "Hela is going crazy!"
JPP - "Ouchey, Ooochy, owwwww."
Hela kicks at Steph's mid section viciously, before turn around and knocking Krystal down with a hard chop to the chest.
Callous - "Hela's locked in a dragon sleeper on Krystal! It's over!"
JPP - "Ring ze bell! Ring ze bell!"
Steph and Persephone begin to brawl on the other side of the ring, and things are getting scrappy. Steph goes for a right hand, but Persephone ducks it and grabs Steph's blue locks.
JPP - "ZE POWERBOMB!"
Callous - "What a powerbomb! Steph is out!"
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JPP - "10!"
Callous - "SHUT UP! Steph is up! And so is Zoe! Zoe's back up at long last!"
Zoe charges towards Hela, who's still got the dragon sleeper locked in on Krystal, and delivers a hard kick to Hela's back. Zoe pulls Hela by the hair and hits a hard DDT, while Krystal gets back up and joins Persephone in double teaming Steph Connor.
Callous - "WAIT! Another DDT by Zoe!"
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JPP - "Hela iz out!"
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10!
Callous - "No! It's not over! The referee got carried away that time! Hela got up after the seven count!"
Zoe wanders towards Persephone and Krystal, but Hela charges at her and hits a spear from behind! Hela begins to unleash rights and lefts on Zoe, who covers up the best she can. Hela gets off of Zoe, and grabs Krystal from behind, spinning her around and hitting a snap suplex on her.
Callous - "Steph's making a comeback!"
JPP - "RIGHT! GOUGE! RIGHT! COUGH! RIGHT!"
Callous - "Cryogenic Sleep! Cryogenic Sleep! Cryogenic Sleep!"
JPP - "What you said times infinititititity!"
Callous - "Persephone is fading fast! Steph is going to win the women's title!"
The referee raises Persephones arm once.
Callous - "It drops!"
Twice.
Callous - "It drops again!"
A third time...
Callous - "It... Zoe breaks the hold!"
Steph doesn't look happy, and pretty soon Zoe and Steph are battling away. Hela hoists Krystal up and goes for a scoop slam, but Krystal wriggles out, before suddenly hitting Krystal Clear on Hela! The scissor kick to the jaw sends Hela flying!
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Callous - "Hela's up!"
JPP - "Krystal cannot beleeeeve it!"
Callous - "FLATLINER! WHERE DID HELA GET THE STRENGTH?!"
Hela and Krystal are both out of it after taking on another's finisher, and the ref begins to count them both out! But before the ref can get to two, Persephone drags Hela up and throws her at the cage, attempting to throw her out. Somehow Hela manages to block the attempts, and elbows Persephone in the face hard.
Callous - "That was sickening!"
JPP - "THUD."
Callous - "There's no need to repeat it!"
JPP - "THUD."
Callous - "Enough! Persephone might be knocked out!"
JPP - "THUD."
*THUD*
JPP - "Owwwwwww."
Callous - "Zoe's calling for a chair!"
Someone at ringside tosses Zoe a chair. As soon as she catches it, Krystal, who has just scrambled to her feet, superkicks it back in her face!
Callous - "Zoe's staggering back! She's going to fall out of the cage!"
JPP - "STEPH!"
Callous - "Steph Connor with a flying clothesline!"
Zoe's out of the cage! Steph has won the match!
JPP - "She iz no natural blue! She's all fake! She does not derserve ze title!"
Callous - "You've gotta wonder if Zoe would have fallen out of the cage as a result of Krystal's superkick, but Steph helped her out of the cage!"
JPP - "Not fair... Krystal did ze work! Steph just sneaked in with 'er fake blue 'air and won ze fecking title!"
Callous - "I take it you're not a Steph Connor fan then..."
JPP - "At least women like Zoe 'ave natural 'air... Zoe's 'air iz a natural bleach blonde. But blue. Pah, Steph cheated, call the event off. Blah."
WINNER AND NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION: STEPHANIE CONNOR VIA RINGOUT
BROKEN HOPE© VS LYNCH MOB
TEAM TITLES
JPP – “Well, now eet is time for ze team titles match…and eye do not care who wins, because zey are all scummies!”
Callous – “Scummies maybe, but these four men are sure to put up a hell of a fight against each other!”
"South Texas Deathride" by Union Underground heralded the arrival of the Lynch Mob. Finally getting their long-awaited title shot, Ash and Insane Wonder looked like they came prepared. Ash chugged a 40oz and smashed it over his own forehead, busting himself open like usual before the fight had even begun. His trademark cigarette in mouth, and trademark barbed wire wrapped bat in hand were joined by a steel ladder which he lugged down with him to the Asylum, with his free hand. Insane Wonder pushed with him a big cart filled to the brim with weapons and various household appliances.
Callous – “Judging by all of that stuff, this is gonna be one hell of a match!”
The crowd booed the duo as they made their way down the ramp. Suddenly, BrokenHope burst through the curtain behind the Lynch Mob, Synn clutching a crowbar and Deicide wielding a steel chair.
CLUNK!
Synn charges down the ramp and clocks Ash in the head with that crowbar before he reaches the Asylum, causing him to drop both his bat and the ladder. Deicide rushing up behind Wonder and...
THWAP!
A powerful chairshot to the upper back sends Wonder flying into the cart he was pushing. The crowd booed the champions as their music "The Fight Song" by Marilyn Manson was now just getting played. Ash, who is already bleeding from his head now, on his hands and knees on the concrete floor and Synn is lashing into his back with that crowbar. Meanwhile, Deicide finds a table at Asylumside and props part of it up on the cage of the Asylum with part of it still resting on the concrete, setting it up at a 45 degree angle.
Callous – “Deicide concocting some form of devious plan here!”
Deicide then goes back over to that cart of weapons, with Insane Wonder still in it, and takes a few steps back before gaining speed and pushing it right at that table. What Deicide had planned, which was to put Wonder and the cart through that table, didn't happen, but something which was even more spectacular did. The table acted as a ramp and the cart, with Wonder screaming his head off inside, was launched through the air.
CRASH~!
JPP – “….”
Callous – “Jesus!”
The cart landed in the middle of the Asylum, spilling Wonder and the weapons all over the inside of the Asylum. Deicide then goes over to help Synn double team on Ash. Broken Hope puts a few boots to Ash before Synn climbs back into the Asylum only to be met by Insane Wonder with a dropkick to the groin. As Synn doubles over in pain, Wonder picks up a tazer and shocks the TV/Team Champ right in the ass with it! Meanwhile, back on the outside, Deicide has Ash in a headlock and is ramming his head into the Asylum cage.
Deicide releases his hold on Ash, who staggers around for a bit, before picking up Ash's barbed wire bat. Deicide pulls back and looks to hit Ash over the head with it, but Ash sidesteps and uses the bat to perform a White Russian leg sweep on Deicide, onto the concrete, that barbed wire tearing up Deicide's shirt and chest, in the process. Ash back to his feet and he climbs into the Asylum, his barbed wire bat in hand.
Callous – “Well, so far…its going as expected, they’re beating the shit out of each other!”
Insane Wonder takes Synn and Irish whips to Ash, who swings his bat and levels the TV/Team Champ with a barbed wire bat shot to the throat. Ash pulling Synn to his feet by his hair, but Synn with a low blow and then takes advantage with his "Broken" Death Valley Driver float over to a reverse DDT! But as Synn turns to engage Wonder, the Insane One surprises him...
SMASH!
Callous – “Again….Jesus!”
Wonder just broke an old Nintendo system over Synn's head! Synn hits the canvas, but IW, just now releasing that it was his own Nintendo he just broke, drops to his knees and with a tear in his eye, starts trying to put it back together. Deicide, however, climbs into the Asylum and with a boot to the back of the head, he takes Wonder's miniscule mind off the Nintendo. Deicide pulls IW to his feet, hits a boot to the gut, and then a cradle piledriver onto the broken remains of that Nintendo! Ash and Synn slowly regaining their feet as the official starts to count out Wonder.
JPP – “Zere are no limitations ere, zey are simply battering ze shite out of each other!”
Deicide doesn't give him a chance, however, and picking up a cheese grater, he
begins raking it across Insane Wonder's forehead! Blood begins to pour down IW's face as Deicide doesn't relent. Rather, Deicide holds the grater in place, against Wonder's head, as Synn takes a running start and dropkicks the grater, causing it to dig even further into Wonder's flesh! Deicide finally lets go of that cheese grater, but it stays in place, as now, it's stuck in Wonder's hair! Synn takes a few steps back to go for another dropkick, but as he runs forward, Ash dives and Gores him down to the canvas! Deicide looks for a weapon as Wonder staggers back up to his feet, his face a mask of crimson. Deicide found a 2x4 and now pulls back, Wonder in his sights.
CRACK!
Callous – “He just shattered that 2x4!”
Deicide shatters the 2x4 over Wonder's forehead, ripping the cheese grater out from his tangled hair! Wonder hits the ground clutching at his head and Deicide taunts the crowd a bit. But Ash is right behind him, chugging the remains of a 40oz. Deicide turns around just in time to get a mouthful of beer spit in his eyes and a 40oz shattered over his head. Ash now standing over Deicide's prone body, gouging his face with the broken neck of that 40oz bottle and Deicide's face is bleeding now, as well. Synn finally breaks up Ash's attack with a knee to the side of the head. Ash turns around to
face Synn as the TV/Team Champion swings what is in his right hand...
THWAP!
Ash takes a frying pan right between the eyes and is out on his feet as Synn goes over to Insane Wonder, who is just recovering back to his hands and knees, and puts him back down on the canvas with a frying pan shot to the back of the skull. Deicide now back up and rams Ash face-first into the steel cage.
Ash staggers back a few steps only to be taken down by a sweep kick to the back of his legs via Synn. Synn and Deicide again both putting boots to the prone Ash, but suddenly a Tarzan-esque cry from the other end of the Asylum turns them both around to face Wonder, who is spazing out on top of the Asylum cage with the ladder that Ash carried down, in hand. Insane Wonder tosses the ladder to Broken Hope, and both Synn and Deicide catch it by reflex. Insane Wonder then jumps off the cage, arms flailing and head bobbing...
CRASH!
Callous – “Flying Retard!…How fitting.”
"The Flying Retard!" IW hits the ladder head-first and consequently, the ladder cannons into Broken Hope's faces, as all three men fall down to the canvas. Ash is back up, however, and he clamors to the top of the cage as IW tosses him a chair.
CRUNCH!
Ash with an Arabian Facebuster onto the ladder laying on top of Synn! Synn gets crushed under Ash, the chair, and the ladder! Ash on a roll now as he lies an empty 40oz on Deicide's crotch and hoists his barbed wire bat high above his head...
SMASH!
JPP – “Ouch…right in ze…ze…ze!”
Ash smashed that glass bottle laying atop Deicide's groin with his bat! He calls that "Hurts Like A Motherfucker." And as Deicide was writhing in pain, Wonder off the top of the cage with a New Orleans Jam onto Deicide! The official begins the count on Broken Hope.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...
Six... Synn tosses the ladder off his prone form and beings to stir...
Seven...
Eight... Synn is back to his feet...
Nine... Deicide up to his feet, as well, but holding his groin in pain...
Insane Wonder puts a few fists to Synn's face, while Synn is still groggy. Ash takes Deicide, rams him face-first into the cage, and then tosses him out of the Asylum. Since this fight is Extreme Rules, there is no ring-out, and the fight will continue. Ash follows Deicide out and goes over to the table he set up on a 45 degree angle in the beginning of the fight. Meanwhile, back in the Asylum, Synn fires back at Wonder and hits him with the "Hell's Hammer" gutwrench piledriver. Synn sets that ladder up in the center of the Asylum, before seeing what Ash is doing outside.
Ash is checking to make sure that table is still propped up steady and has Deicide laying on the concrete beside him. Synn quickly exits the Asylum and sneaks up behind Ash. When Ash turns around to pick up Deicide, he instead finds himself facing Synn, who promptly hits him with a short series of left jabs, a right cross, left knee lift, low right back spinning crescent kick, and is about to complete "Riding the Pitchfork" with a left roundhouse to the head, but Ash ducks the kick and lifts Synn up from behind. Back in the Asylum, Insane Wonder is at the top of the ladder. He leaps from the ladder with a guillotine leg drop to the outside as Ash simultaneously drops Synn down with an electric chair drop!
CRASH~!
The Lynch Mob put Synn through the table on the outside with their electric chair/leg drop combination! The crowd cheers, surely not for Lynch Mob, but rather because Broken Hope was getting what they deserved and a chant of "Holy Shit!" broke out. Ash grabs another table from Asylumside, brings it into the Asylum, and sets it up as Wonder kicks the slowly rising Deicide low and tosses him into the Asylum. Ash places Decide on the table and holds him down as Insane Wonder begins to climb up that ladder again. Deicide, however, was playing possum.
Callous – “Deicide getting up here!”
He rakes Ash's eyes and then kicks him low, following it up by getting off the table and placing Ash onto the table, instead. Insane Wonder has reached the top, but seeing Ash laying on the table, instead of Deicide, he looks to jump off the ladder and nail Deicide. Deicide, however, sees this, and leaps out of the Asylum, and runs up the ramp a little, out of Wonder's range. Wonder sits there, atop the ladder, confused as all hell about what to do next. Suddenly, however, Synn makes his mind up for him. Synn back to his feet and in the Asylum, pushes the ladder over!
CRASH~!
Insane Wonder fell off the top of that ladder and inadvertently ended up putting both himself, and his partner Ash, through the table! The Lynch Mob now lies in a tangled mess of bodies, broken wood, and a ladder as the official begins to count them out.
JPP – “Zis could be it, another win for ze Broken Hope!”
One...
Two...
Three... Deicide climbs back into the Asylum with the Team Title belts in hand, hands Synn one, and in what might be a premature gesture, Broken Hope raises the title belts in the air to a hiss of boos from the crowd...
Four...
Five... Some movement is seen in the wreckage...
Six...
Seven... A voice, presumably Ash's shouts "Get off me, fucktard!"...
Eight...
Nine... Ash is back to his feet, and yanks Wonder to his feet, as well!
The Lynch Mob doesn't remain standing for long, however, as Broken Hope blasts them both with the title belts. Broken Hope drops the belts and resume their assault. Deicide gets Wonder in a piledriver/powerbomb position but Wonder counters with a bite to the crotch!?
Synn, meanwhile is stomping on Ash. He takes a few steps back and is about to blast Ash with a running kick to the ribs, but Ash counters with a drop toe hold, causing Synn to come down chin-first across the top of the cage, drawing blood from the mouth of the double champion. Ash is back on his feet and grabs a hold of a steel chair as Wonder climbs to the top of the cage. Deicide, still holding his crotch in pain, returns the favor by pushing Wonder and crotching him on the rim of the cage.
THWAP!
Ash, however, with a chairshot right on the head of Deicide, bringing the man to his hands and knees.
THWAP!
Another chairshot via Ash, this time to the lower back region, puts Deicide face-down on the canvas. Ash pulls back and goes for a third chairshot, but from behind, Synn snatches the chair from Ash. Ash turns around and...
THWAP!
Synn just bent the chair over Ash's head, but amazingly, Ash is still on his feet. Out on his feet, however. Synn, still holding that chair, is taunting the crowd and doesn't see Wonder get back standing on the rim of the Asylum. Wonder comes off the cage with a flying chop block at Synn as Ash suddenly explodes into motion Goring that steel chair right into Synn's chest! The two Lynch Mob members simultaneously hit Synn, taking him right off his feet with "Hung, Drawn, and Quartered!"
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five...
Six...
Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
Ten!
The Lynch Mob raised the Team Title belts over their head as "South Texas Deathride" by Union Underground played over the PA system and Ash celebrated with a post-fight 40oz and a victory smoke. Wonder chugged down a carton of Vodka-spiked milk, as well, as the new Team Champions walked to the back to
thunderous boos. When Broken Hope had recovered, they had a few angry words with the official, before Synn hit him with Hell Bound and Deicide locked him in the Deicide Deathlock. The crowd booed just as loudly for Broken Hope as they had for the Lynch Mob, as the despicable duo of Synn and Deicide left looking more than a bit pissed off.
JPP – “Erm…what can we say?”
Callous – “Holy-fucking-shit.”
JPP – “Oui…and back after ze break…chummy chums!”
WINNERS AND NEW TEAM CHAMPIONS: LYNCH MOB VIA KNOCKOUT
REVENGE? NOT QUITE
*KNOCK*
That was all he could take. Joe Campbell will ignore Kenny Rock no longer. A punch in the nose was enough, but ingoring Kenny? It was time to be heard.
"Open the fucking door you slimy manwhore! Open up I said!"
Kenny screamed to the top of his lungs as his heart grew rampant. Adrenaline flowed through his veins like the Mississippi River as it merges downstream into the Gulf of Mexico. Kenny was livid.
Soon, his rage got the better of him as he lined up a nearby EN-RG soda machine against the door of Campbell's office, seemingly prepared to strike
it. Kenny crouched down as if he were measuring an opponent, actually staring the EN-RG machine down. Then after a brief pause, Kenny sprang up and nailed "The Finisher" roundhouse kick perfectly on the inanimate object.
This caused the door to collapse and the machine to topple over. Kenny stood there, waiting for Campbell to emerge somewhere among the shattered oak and scrap metal, but he was nowhere to be found.
"FUCK!" screamed Kenny. "Where the hell are you Joe Camel?"
Kenny stopped, and stared at a free En-RG can. He popped the cap and took a sip of the rich orange substance, only to spit it in the camera, causing it
to short-circuit. Static filled the screen as Kenny can be heard faintly in the background, complaining.
"What the fuck? This drink tastes like piss! No wonder Borst can't sleep. Piece of shit product!"
JOE CAMPBELL VS KENNY ROCK
SHOW RIGHTS FIGHT
JPP – “Well, ze main event is on ze way, but as you can see, ze’re are oz’er matches to take pace before it.”
Callous – “Yeah, namely, Kenny Rock Vs Joe Campbell, with Kenny Rock’s Sunday show rights on the line.”
JPP – “Oui, if ze Kenny looses zis one, e’ will ave’ lost all of is’ power, and zen…muahaha, ze Joe will make him pay.”
Callous – “Muahaha?”
JPP – “Oui, Joe will bring him down…bring him down to China town!”
Callous – “Frog…I thought you liked Kenny Rock?”
JPP – “Oui, but I also like ze boss, I ere’ zat a raise is on order for one of us in ze next couple of weeks.”
Callous – “Yeah, me….frog.”
JPP – “O, very well zen…go Kenny! Joe sucks ze testicles!”
As JPP finished, the lights in the arena flickered out to blackness, a chill of excitement went through the arena, and as the CRACK!BOOM!POW! Of Kenny Rock’s explosive entrance blasted through the arena, the crowd were on their feet. As soon as the arrogant Kenny Rock entered however, his music blasting through the speakers, the crowd exploded with boo’s, Kenny’s arrogant face taking in the atmosphere and loving the hate put toward him.
JPP – “Ze Kenny…whoooooo!”
Callous – “Shut up.”
Kenny made his way down to the Asylum, stepping in and wearing an expression of disgust as he looked across the Manchester evening News arena. However, the crowd were soon on their feet, because “Snap your fingers, Snap your neck” by Prong had begun to blast through the speakers, Manchester born Joe Campbell was on the way, the Asylum owner was heavily favoured by the Manchester crowd, as he walked through the curtain.
JPP – “Ehh, e’ looks, different…”
Callous – “Yeah, complete new look for Joe here apparently, sporting blonde hair, and some ‘trendy’ sunglasses.”
The crowd roared for the entrance of Joe, who certainly looked different to his usual self, he had a microphone in hand, and he raised it to his lips.
“Oi, wanker.”
The crowd exploded with laughter, as Kenny slowly pivoted his head, an expression of sheer fury coming across his face.
Joe – “Yeah, you…I figured that since im going to come out here tonight, and wipe the floor with your face, I might as well take the time to insult you too, and since you don’t have a microphone, I guess its going to be a one sided conversation isn’t it shite face?”
Kenny’s lips moved frantically, throwing insults right left and center at Joe, who simply smiled.
Joe – “Sorry wanker, can’t hear you. But anyway, lets get down to business, you own the booking rights to my Sunday show, and won’t give them back, so here comes my fist…pucker up fat boy.”
Callous – “Fighting words there by Joe!”
Joe dropped the mic and rushed down to the Asylum, running up the steps and leaping the barrier, catching the rushing Kenny with a spear that caught him almost in the head! Kenny hit the mat hard, as Joe pounded his head with rights and lefts, before getting to his feet and stomping the downed Kenny.
JPP – “Good start ere’ by ze Joe!”
Joe continued to kick the downed Kenny Rock, but was met by a low blow via Kenny which brought him to his knees, a swift kick to the face shortly followed, which shattered Joe’s blood red sunglasses, which in turn cut deep into his skin, causing blood to pour from his face!
Callous – “Ouch!”
Joe grasped his face, as Kenny began to stomp relentlessly on him, the Manchester crowd in attendance booed tremendously, as Kenny lifted Joe, and rammed his skull into the mesh, once, twice, a third time! Joe fell back, but on the way up, was caught by a spritely Kenny Rock, who dropkicked him in the face!
JPP – “Ze Kenny is kicking ze ass!”
Joe struggled to his feet, but was met again by Kenny Rock, who caught him with a vicious knee to the ribs, followed by a second, and then a hammer blow to the back of Joe’s head, sending him to the mat.
“Now who’s the wanker?” Kenny exclaimed, sending the Manchester crowd into a tremendous frenzy of booing, they did, even more so, when Kenny reached over the edge of the Asylum, and dragged in a steel folding chair!
Callous – “Well, this doesn’t look good, does it?”
CRUNCH!
The crowd erupted, Kenny hadn’t landed a picture perfect chair shot to the skull of Joe, but had instead been greeted as he turned, by a low blow! Kenny dropped the chair, and fell to his knees, and as he did, Joe lifted the chair.
CRACK!
“Ohhhhhhhh!”
CRACK!
“Ohhhhhhhh!”
CRACK!
“Ohhhhhhhh!”
JPP – “Sacre bleu!”
Callous – “THREE wicked chair shots to the spine there by Joe!”
Kenny lay flat on the mat, Joe’s three chair shots easily enough to keep him down and out, Joe proceeded to stomp the downed Kenny, before opening the chair, and placing it in a seated position, Joe stepped back, Kenny slowly moving to his feet, as Kenny reached a full stance, Joe ran, vaulting off the chair and attempting to catch Kenny with a form of hurricanranna.
Callous – “No!”
Kenny swept Joe’s feet, grabbing him in a powerbomb, and dropping him directly onto the chair he had just vaulted off! “Ohhhhhh!” the crowd sighed, as Joe bounced off the chair and lay motionless, as Kenny took a moment to regain his composure, before looking at the downed Joe, flipping off the crowd, and folding shut the steel chair.
Callous – “This is gonna hurt…”
JPP – “Oui, I cannot watch…well I will…but onlee becuz I am forced to!”
Kenny slowly circled the downed Joe, before drawing the chair back.
CRACK!
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Callous – “Holy shit!”
JPP – “Ou….Oui!”
Eight chair shots saw Joe completely motionless on the mat, the referee reluctantly began to count.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7 At this point, Kenny folded out the chair, and took a seat on it, arrogantly putting his feet up on the downed Joe.
8
9
10!
Callous – “NO!”
JPP – “NO!?”
Callous – “YES! NO!….JOE PUSHED HIMSELF UP!”
The crowd exploded in disbelief, Joe pushed himself up, which further infuriated Kenny, who lifted himself from his chair, folded it back shut, and took a huge swing.
JPP – “He ducked!”
Callous – “Superkick!”
The crowd exploded, Kenny swung, but Joe evaded, kicking out with a superkick, and catching Kenny…of all places, in the nose! Kenny’s nose popped, showering the ring with blood as both he and Joe fell to the mat. The referee slowly made the count.
Callous – “Joe has to be the favourite here…he just got up seconds ago!”
1
2
3
4
5
6
7 Joe slowly but surely rose to his feet!
8
9
Callous – “NO! Kenny is up!”
Kenny rose rather quickly to his feet, before placing his hand on his face, looking at it, and seeing the blood. The facial expression of Kenny Rock was unexplainable.
Callous – “Woah…I haven’t ever seen him look like that before!”
JPP – “Eh…oui, zat is a scary face.”
Joe looked Kenny in the eye but wasn’t sure himself what to do, Kenny was breathing heavily…his physical state suggested a fit of rage, but his actions, certifited it. Kenny grabbed Joe by the arm, dragging him directly down to the mat, and hooking the arm, before locking onto his head, and sealing the move, a Crossface!
Callous – “WHAT THE FUCK!?”
Thud, thud, thud.
Silence.
The thuds? The sound of Asylum president, defeater of Graphic Violence. His hand frantically tapping the mat.
Callous – “FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUCK!?”
JPP – “I cannot believe it!”
“Slave to the grind” by Skid Row blasted through the curtains, as Kenny Rock rose to his feet, before falling to his knee’s and raising his arms in the air, he was the victor. The crowd weren’t booing, they were completely silenced, Joe on the other hand, dropped slowly out of the Asylum, before exiting slowly up the ramp, his broken pride slowly following.
Callous – “I don’t fucking believe it, the man has been through war after war with GV…and he taps out in front of his home town?”
JPP – “Oui, but did you see ze Kenny Rock? E’ went ballistic!”
Callous – “Yeah…but for fucks sake…the fact remains, he tapped out!”
JPP – “Eh…ok Callous, anyway…we will be back with ze main event…after ze break!”
WINNER: KENNY ROCK VIA SUBMISSION
ARCHANGEL© VS INMATE VS PETE BORST
ASYLUM CHAMPIONSHIP
Callous - "We're just moments away from the main event... this match is going to be HUGE."
Voices by Disturbed begins to play, and the crowd erupts with cheers as Pete Borst steps out from behind the curtain!
Callous - "He's come home, and the fans in Manchester love him!"
They go wild as he strolls down the aisle along, with Zoe Borst notable by her absence. As Borst climbs into the Asylum, Wicked begins to play, and Inmate makes his entrance.
He gets a mixed reaction from the fans in Manchester, but the crowd's reaction doesn't bother him.
JPP - "He iz not bothered... he'z focused on two things. Ze Asylum Championship... and Pete Borst."
Inmate climbs into the ring, and his music fades out, as he and Borst eye each other from opposite sides of the ring. A Borst chant begins in the crowd for a few seconds, breaking the silence, but the lack of activity in the ring causes the chant to soon die out.
Callous - "It's like the calm before the storm."
Suddenly, the lights go out. Red strobe lights cover the ring and crowd, as Divine by Korn begin to play, and out steps the Asylum Champion. The biggest man in sports entertainment, ArchAngel slowly walks down the aisle, dragging a small dumpster behind him.
Callous - "Here comes the Asylum Champion!"
The fans look on in awe, as ArchAngel continues to make his way down the aisle. Borst and Inmate's eyes are fixed on ArchAngel.
Suddenly, the lights come on in the arena, and ArchAngel wastes no time in emptying the contents of the dumpster by throwing his "toys" into the ring. Weapons are ArchAngel's thing. This is ArchAngel's match... he's the World Champion.
Chairs, trash cans, cookie sheet, florescent light bulb tubes, a table, and even a ladder are all thrown in.
JPP - "Borst iz not liking zat!"
Borst does his best to throw the objects back out of the ring as soon as they come in, but ArchAngel is throwing more and more in, faster than Borst can get rid of them. Eventually Borst just gives up, and wallops Inmate around the back of the head with a chair!
Callous - "MAN! What a way to start the match!"
ArchAngel climbs into the ring and walks slowly towards Borst. Pete looks around the ring at the array of weapons, and grabs a handful of florescent lightbulb tubes.
One. SMASH!
JPP - "ArchAngel doezn't zeem fazed!"
Two. SMASH!
Three. SMASH!
Callous - "Look at all the dust and smoke when the lighbulbs explode!"
Four. SMASH!
Callous - "He's still up!"
FIVE! SMASH! ArchAngel is still standing, and a cloud of smoke from the exploding light bulbs surrounds his head, eventually beginning to settle on the floor at his feet.
ArchAngel just grins and nods his head, asking for more. But before Borst has a chance to give him more, Inmate charges at him and spears him, before unleashing rights and lefts on ArchAngel's face.
Callous - "Here comes Inmate! He's going wild!"
Meanwhile, Borst is staring hard at a florescent light bulb, and slowly motions towards his head a few times.
Callous - "What's Borst thinking..?"
Borst looks over at ArchAngel, who's being battered with rights and left from Inmate.
Callous - "Na, it don't hurt does it Pete?"
SMASH!
Borst hits himself over the head with a light bulb and it explodes on impact, leaving a cloud of dust. Borst shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.
Callous - "No wonder ArchAngel didn't go down!"
But Borst does. He suddenly falls to the mat holding his head, swearing and cussing as he begins to get to his feet.
JPP - "Non, zat hurt."
Callous - "Fuckhead..."
JPP - "All zis head bonging iz giving JPP a head ache... good job I bought zome painkillerz in Manchester earlier."
Callous - "OH!"
Inmate just dented a cookie sheet over ArchAngel's head, hitting ArchAngel repeatedly with it while he's on the mat. Suddenly, from behind, Borst whacks Inmate around the back of the head again with a chair!
Callous - "Inmate's down again! Two chair shots to the back of the head already!"
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
JPP - "11!"
Callous - "Inmate's up! He's bleeding from the back of the head, but he's up!"
JPP - "99!"
Callous - "Calm the fuck down JPP."
ArchAngel suddenly grabs Borst from behind, and locks him in a full nelson, before lifting him high in the air and dropping him hard on the the mat. ArchAngel shows great agility, sliding down to the mat and grabbing Borst's arm, attempting to lock in an arm bar.
Callous - "Borst's having none of that, he's crawled away to the other side of the ring."
JPP - "Crawlingreallyreallyfast."
Callous - "And you're talking really really fast..."
JPP - "Me?NoI'mnotyouidiot!I'mtalkingatzenormalspeed!"
Borst makes it to the other side of the ring, but Inmate is waiting their with a baking sheet in hand, and he smacks in over Borst's head, and then charges at ArchAngel, hitting him around the head with it as well!
Callous - "And a spear into the cage for good measure to Borst!"
JPP - "WAIT!ArchAngelclotheslinedInmateonzebackofzehead!"
Callous - "Calm down man! You're talking like a maniac!"
JPP - "TABLE!Angelissettingupatable!"
Callous - "What? Wait! Table! Angel is setting up a table!"
ArchAngel grabs Inmate and powerbombs him with ease through the table! He then grabs Borst, and drags him to his feet, before powerbombing Borst onto Inmate!
JPP - "Jamsandwich!Jam!Jam!Jam!Jam!Jam!Jam!Jam!"
Callous - "The ref is counting both Inmate and Borst out!"
1
2
3
4
5
JPP - "Ifeelfunny."
Callous - "You sound funny..."
6
7
Borst is up first, and ArchAngel approaches him, but is just met with a trademark low blow from Borst, than sends the champ down to his knees.
JPP - "HAHAHA!"
Callous - "OOOOOOOH! Borst just STAMPED on Inmate's groin!"
JPP - "Groin!STAMPED!FAST!Everything'sgoingfastCally,fastCally,fast..."
Callous - "What the hell kind of painkillers did you take? You've gone psycho!"
JPP - "One'sfromashopinsomealleyinManchester.Theyonlycost150pounds.That'sabout5dollarsrightCally,right?"
Callous - "ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS?"
JPP - "JPPdidgoodeh?Eh?Eh?JPPnotbeenabadboy.NobottyspankingforJPPtoday.HaHA!"
Callous - "Can someone backstage come and sort this guy out... no seriously, come and sort him out. Take him away."
JPP - "AWAY!AWAYTOWAWY!"
Callous - "Anyone? Nude Frenchman high on speed here. Help."
Meanwhile, Borst has been busy in the ring, and has delivered three more low blows to ArchAngel, and has just punched him square on the forehead!
JPP - "PunchandJudy!"
Borst then turns his attention to Inmate and begins to viciously kick Inmate in the mid section while he's down.
Callous - "Borst has a chair!"
JPP - "SodoesJPP!JPPsitsonchairs!"
WHACK!
Borst clobbers Inmate repeatedly with the chair while he's down, focussing on Inmate's heavily strapped and braced knee. Suddenly, ArchAngel charges at Borst, but he spots ArchAngel charging at him and dives to the side, and ArchAngel goes head first through the mesh!
Callous - "NO! ArchAngel's head is stuck in the mesh!"
JPP - "OIL!SOMEONEGETSOMEOILTOSLIDEHIMOUT!"
Callous - "The same thing happened the last time these two were against each other in the Asylum almost five months ago!"
JPP - "Copying!BORSThasa2x4likethelasttimeJPPhadsex!"
Callous - "Borst won the Asylum Championship for the second time in his career in this exact same fashion! ArchAngel is stuck and Borst is about to break a 2x4 over his head!"
Chop block Inmate! Inmate takes a step back and stands in front of the ladder that's been lying flat in the ring all the match, and executes a drop toe hold on Borst, and Borst crashes down face first on the ladder!
Callous - "Inmate is trapping Borst's head in between the rungs!"
JPP - "He'sgoibgtohittheladderwithBorst'sheadinitwiththesheep!MOOOOOOOOOO!"
THUD.
Callous - "Someone... ANYONE backstage. JPP has just passed out! And Inmate is about to hit the ladder with a chair, and Borst's head is in the middle of the ladder!"
ArchAngel suddenly grabs Inmate and spins him round before hoisting Inmate up for a gutwrench powerbomb!
Callous - "On to the ladder!!! And Borst JUST got his head out of the ladder in the nick of time!"
Borst crawls away, and pulls himself up... but as soon as he's on his feet, ArchAngel throws the ladder at him, and it hits him square in the chops!
Meanwhile, the ref has been counting Inmate out after the powerbomb on the ladder!
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JPP - (mumbles) "55"
THUD.
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Callous - "Inmate's back up to his feet, but he's favouring his back after that powerbomb on the ladder."
ArchAngel approaches Borst, but is met with yet another low blow. ArchAngel drops to his knees, and Borst grabs the 2x4. He charges at Inmate and break the 2x4 across Inmate's back!
Callous - "OH! Inmate is back down onto his hands and knees and is in obvious pain."
Borst charges at ArchAngel, but ArchAngel puts his foot up and Borst runs straight into a big boot!
Callous - "ArchAngel is going crazy!"
ArchAngel begins to clobber Borst and Inmate with everything in sight! The chairs, trays, trash cans... and pretty soon, every weapon in the ring is unuseable.
Callous - "ArchAngel is just standing there! Bleeding from the neck and face, surrounded by total destruction! Everything in the ring is dented and battered, including his opponents!"
Suddenly, Nicodemus comes down the aisle, dragging a shopping cart full of yet MORE weapons for his team mate ArchAngel to use. This time however, they're definitely more to ArchAngel's liking that the original set.
Callous - "Nico is placing sheets of glass in ring! As well as more chairs, tables and other solid objects!"
ArchAngel begins to set up a table, while Nico turns around a leaves.
Callous - "Nico's work is done now, and it looks like Borst and Inmate are gonna feel the effects of it!"
JPP - "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEFECTS."
THUD.
Callous - "Someone get out here please... he's beginning to drool."
ArchAngel has placed Borst on the table, and ArchAngel drags Inmate to the other side of the ring. He hoists him up in the powerbomb positon and begins to run towards the table, before jumping and landing on the table and Borst!
Callous - "A running sit down powerbomb, through the table... THROUGH BORST!"
All three men are down and count... and the referee doesn't know what to do. He just waits for someone to move... and amazingly, Borst is the first up! ArchAngel is the next up, and eventually Inmate manages to get to his feet.
Callous - "Hard clothesline on Borst from ArchAngel."
Borst hits the mat hard.
SMASH!
Callous - "I don't believe it!"
Inmate just smashed a sheet of glass over ArchAngel's head! ArchAngel falls to the mat, and begins to bleed heavily.
Callous - "Inmate's setting up the ladder now, and he's beginning to climb it. Slowly, but surely."
JPP - "JPPtalksslowlyyouknowCallylikethepigsdoonasummersday."
THUD.
Callous - "C'mon guys, this is cruel. He's lapsing in out of consciousness."
Inmate jumps from the top of ladder and goes for a leg drop on ArchAngel, but seemingly out of no-where, Borst dives forwards and swings out his arm. Inmate flies into Borst's arm, and is hit head on with the Clothesline from Yankland in mid air!!!
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Callous - "It's over! We've got a new champion!"
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Callous - "10! It's over! 10!"
But no! Inmate is up. Somehow Inmate got back to his feet.
Callous - "I got carried away there, I really thought that was it. Inmate had the stuffing totally knocked out of him!"
Moments after Inmate is up, he falls back down again... but ArchAngel is back up by now. Borst grabs a couple of florescent light bulb tubes, and smashes two over ArchAngel's head, before remembering they have little effect on him.
Callous - "Borst gave up on that idea and just kicked ArchAngel below the belt!"
Borst takes a step back, and hits the Clothesline from Yankland on ArchAngel!
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ArchAngel gets to his feet! But meanwhile, Borst has turned his attention to Inmate.
Callous - "Bearbuster! Inmate is out! There's no way he can take much more!"
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Callous - "NO WAY!"
Borst is getting frustrated, and he grabs a folded up table and throws it ArchAngel. Suddenly, a groggy Inmate jumps on Borst's back and locks in a sleeper hold!
Callous - "Shade of Turmoil! Inmate on Borst's back with a sleeper locked in! Borst is fading!"
ArchAngel doesn't seem bothered by the sleeper hold being applied. He seems to have faith in Borst, and ArchAngel just leans the table Borst threw at him against the cell.
Callous - "Borst powers out of the sleeper, but Inmate just pushed Borst towards the table!"
Borst stands in front of the table, and turns around to see ArchAngel running at him!
Callous - "GORE!"
Borst moved! ArchAngel dives head first into the table, and one side of the cage collapses!
Callous - "THE CAGE HAS COLLAPSED! IT COULDN'T TAKE ARCHANGEL'S WEIGHT!"
JPP - "Wha... what? What happened?"
Callous - "Nice to have you with us again JPP."
JPP - "Who are you?"
Callous "..."
JPP - "Hello."
Callous - "Borst and Inmate look shocked!"
Inmate quickly takes Borst down and locks in SNAP!
Callous - "Borst's about to tap! Look at the pain on his face!"
JPP - "What's been happening dude?"
Callous - "Borst is on the verge of tapping out! Inmate is going to be the new champion!"
JPP - "Whoa whoa whoa!"
ArchAngel breaks the hold! Inmate is annoyed, but doesn't loose focus. He seems to have got his second wind, and he delivers a series of five snap suplexes on Borst!
JPP - "Whoa dude! Borst is gonna, like, LOSE!"
Callous - "Where's your French accent gone?!"
JPP - "HEY! I'm not French, I'm big boned!"
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JPP - "Ooooh, JPP has a head ache again. Where are them pain killers..?"
Callous - "NO! Don't you dare touch those pills again!"
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JPP - "Borst's lost. Whoopie doo, big deal... gimmie them pills dude."
Callous - "Get off my hand! And Borst hasn't lost! He's up!"
Inmate attempts to suplex ArchAngel, but can't lift him. Suddenly...
Callous - "Vengeance! ArchAngel has Vengeance locked in on Inmate!"
WHACK!
Borst just hurled a trash can across the ring, and it hit both Inmate and ArchAngel, causing ArchAngel to release the hold. The trash can caught Inmate on the side of the head, and he falls to the mat, while ArchAngel glares at Borst and lunges towards him!
JPP - "Vengeance on Borst!"
Callous - "Back in a mo."
JPP - "Eh? Cally? Dude? Where you going? Cally?"
Callous has run around the ring from his commentary spot and is shouting at the referee!
JPP - "Borst is tapping! Borst is tapping! Borst is tapping!"
Inmate grabs Borst's legs!
JPP - "Borst has been thrown out! Borst has been thrown out! ... The ref didn't see it! The ref didn't see it!"
Callous is still shouting something at the referee and has a hold of the ref's shirt, preventing him from getting away. Both Inmate and ArchAngel have begun to celebrate, both thinking they've won.
JPP - "Who's that?!"
Suddenly, someone comes from the crowd and grabs Borst, throwing him back into the Asylum!
JPP - "WHAT?!"
Callous sees that Borst is back in the ring and releases his grip on the referee, and Callous quickly runs back to his seat at ringside.
JPP - "What was that all about dude?"
Callous - "Don't know what you're talking about."
JPP - "Who was that guy?"
Callous - "That bloke built like a brick shit house? That's Double Hard... anyway, we've got a match to commentate on!"
JPP - "Double Hard!"
Callous - "BORST!"
Pete Borst staggers towards Inmate who's protesting to the ref that he should be the champion, and he clobbers him from behind with a steel chair! Inmate staggers forwards, and Borst lunges at him, clotheslining him across the back of the neck, sending Inmate tumbling out of the Asylum!
Callous - "BORST IS CHAMP! BORST IS CHAMP!"
JPP - "What the..."
Callous - "Take some more of those pills or something JPP, you're getting annoying."
JPP - "Can I???"
Borst is handed the world title and his arm is raised by the referee! Moments later though, several officials run down the aisle and begin to shout things at the referee. One of the officials takes the title from Borst, and motions towards Inmate.
JPP - "HIGHHHHHHHHHHASAKITE!"
Callous - "What's going on here? Borst won the match!"
Moments later, Joe Campbell, the Asylum owner is on the scene. He grabs the title belt from the official and first walks towards ArchAngel.
Callous - "What?!"
Then he shakes his head and extends the title towards Inmate.
Callous - "NO! NO WAY!"
JPP - "InthemateohyeahyeahyeahyeahbabyyeahInmateischamp!"
Joe flipped Inmate off! He tosses the title to Borst and raises Borst's arm!
Callous - "OOOOOOOHHH YEAAAAAAAAH!"
Borst is the new Asylum World Champion!
Callous - "And he did it ALL BY HIMSELF!"
Fight.Hell comes to close, as officials force Inmate and ArchAngel vacate the ring, while Borst stands in the centre of the ring, his arm raised high by Joe. Borst is back on top...
Callous - "... and he did it ALL BY HIMSELF!"
JPP - "Muff. Hehehehehe."
WINNER AND NEW ASYLUM CHAMPION: PETE BORST VIA RINGOUT
copyright ©
asylum 2000 - 2010
site scripted by tom
site designed by joe
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